Being a borderline feels like eternal hell.
Pain, anger, confusion, never knowing how I’m gonna feel from one minute to the next.
Hurting because I hurt those whom I love.
And empty most of time.
Nothing gives me pleasure.
Wanting to die but not being able to kill myself because I’d feel too much guilt for those I’d hurt, and then feeling angry about that…
So I cut myself or abuse of substances to make all those feelings go away.
Sorry not sorry, but it is what it is, a never ending cycle.
.:healing | Days without cutting: 04:.