‘Bed of lies’

I’m a liar!
And that’s the only truth I can admit…
I lie when I’m happy,
I lie when I’m sad…
I lie for all those ones I love,
And especially for all those others who I suppose I hate.
I lie about feelings, emotions, about my real physical and mental conditions.
I lie about expectations, future plans,
I lie about everything and much more!
And the worst is that I believe in all those stories I’m telling you now…
I’m not good enough to accept that I was wrong, even though I wasn’t!
I’m not good enough to say “I’m trully sorry” by heart.
Neither to face the reality when it comes up…
I’m a unconditional liar and too stubborn to step back and see all that shit I’ve done and I’m aware of.
I do not believe in ‘good intentions’ even though I should do that!
I always think that everybody has something to hide,
Nothing never changes, it’s the same all the time…
I’m tired but I do not just proceed at the wrong way as I go further, because I change facts,
I usually manipulate everything, making my own story and at the end I want that people still trusting on me…
I’m simply disgusting because I cheat on everyone.
And at the end of the day I don’t want to feel myself empty, dirty, alone, then I cheat on me too!
That really sucks…
But I cannot change it,
I cannot change myself because I don’t want to or perhaps because I barely see something good at me.
I’m so sorry for being already so damageable…
Now, I’m not lying!

Nao é facil ter um oceano de distancia e tantos outros problemas separando a gente justo agora. I miss you lots! <5

PS: If I were you, I do not believe 100% on things you read here!

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4 Responses to “‘Bed of lies’”

  1. flavia Says:

    I really think you must publish a book…


    ps: I’m a big fan of you!

  2. Leandro Says:

    If you say a lie 1000 times it will come as true.

    But remember that nobody can hide a lie forever.

    My friend, you can keep lying as long as you keep sharing. =)

    I really think you must publish a book… [2]

    I’ll keep saying again and again, it will be a best seller.


    • Carol Vallu Says:

      My friend, after this comment I will keep lying forever!
      (and obviously sharing my guilt with all of you as usual)

      About publishing a book… tks for believe so much that it will be a best seller! I’m really glad with your comment and is that what makes me to keep going with my project! Btw I really think you guys will convince me soon to do that and then you will be obligated to buy it!
      Ahahaha I’m joking, I mean, I’m lying… Ops! I don’t know anymore!


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