Random thoughts…

I hate that but I’m better with words…

What is happiness for you? Does anyone can help me to find out? Because I honestly no longer know what this 9 letters word mean…
I’d thought I could be happy here now I’m afraid to admit I was wrong.
I hate that I ruin most of my relationships because people getting close scares me.
I hate that I tell people I don’t need them when all I really need is for them to love me.
I hate to keep thoughts inside of my head but I hate at most be aware about the power my words might carry…
I hate that I can’t control my emotions!
Sorry, but I am the pyscho (girl)friend who wants you to tell her how important she is all the time.
Sorry, if I am the psycho (girl)friend who pushes you away even though she really is crying to be held.
Sorry for being the psycho (girl)friend who says “no” instead of “yes” most of time and either on the other way around.
Sorry for one million things but what I really want is someone to see through all the defence mechanisms, through the pushing and shoving and hateful actions…
All I need is someone to understand that I’m really so hurt and damaged that I can’t take this feeling of abandonment any longer!
Often the only thing I feel is that I’ve been left behind even though I am the one who is always leaving.
Sorry if I am just a kid refusing to grow old because I know that the world out there is dirty, and horrible, and unfair, and…
Well I’m not 30 yet and I may not turn.
Everybody knows that what everyone need is love, yet I only need some guidance.
Isn’t that much, isn’t it?
However, I hate the emotional, angry, monster I am…


2 Responses to “Random thoughts…”

  1. leandro Says:

    you’re my favourite psycho friend.

    miss you.


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