Firstly my apologies for my words but I need to spit this lump in my throat and to me there is no better way to do that but writing.
Perhaps I might be late, time has gone and now I start to see that everything is changed.
Most of time I miss the girl I used to be, I really do but far more than that I miss the boy I used to have as “the best boyfriend ever”.
Now seems that I am nothing more than an ordinary girl, just as all the others before. And so fair enough he is becoming the same thing for me in front of my eyes…
I feel powerless and quite often I have the weird sensation that I have been fighting for something that is already gone or too weak to survive in case I have to do this on my own.
But adjustments might take time and so I pray to be wrong once more for better.
I still believe that this is not the end although I know we are both tired of the same issues.
All I wanted was being able to put things back on track.
I honestly wish I could make him see again through all this ice.
I wish I could know what would be the best for us…
And more than everything I wish our bond was truly unbreakable.
Therefore, I feel sorry for both of us.
I feel sorry for no longer have the trust and courage we used to have.
I feel sorry regarding all our faults.
I feel sorry that conversations always turn into senseless arguments and that the gap between us is getting bigger and bigger over time.
I feel really sorry for have hurt you and being hurt in return.
I feel sorry if we can’t reconnect or get through these walls we built aiming self protection…
I feel sorry for you and me.
Last but not least, I have never thought l-o-v-e could be so pricy.
I still believe in all those kind words one day we wrote to each other emphasising the “I really do!”
P.S: I am not afraid to try over and over I just don’t want to keep walking on a road which:
1) I will have to cross all alone.
2) won’t lead me anywhere further than where I could go on my own.