I need it (whatever “it” is) to be mine.
I need to have control or at least believe that I do have it.
I need and I want 100% of everything that comes to cross my way… good, bad, does not matter.
And if it can’t be so, if it can’t belong to this life of mine I’d rather not have any of that, anything, nothing at all.
Because I’m not afraid of the dark, but of this grey zone that is killing me…