Chapter 1


For the boy who first moved my mouth into a O.
For the one who taught me how to play a fake guitar.
For the one who still reminds me of cuts and cries.
For the one who was too afraid to kiss – I hope you are all fingers tangled in hair, all mouth on mouth.

For the one who was a waste of money and time but was so important, if only to teach me that I deserve sunlight-on-bone warmth.
For the summer fling, the chlorine daze, the lazy afternoons together.
For the one who ran dusty with me in open fields at dusk – I hope you are all keeping promises and living happily ever after.

For the one today, please keep on going slow, we are married now but I still am terrified of you being another thing I have to regret.
I loved, and it felt like danger.
I loved, and I wasted seven of my lives.
I love you so and it is a miracle.

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