Posts Tagged ‘escape’

She is a mess…

September 8, 2010

-First of all, thank you so much for all those ones who have handle me during my last crise. Honestly thank you so much all those ones whose loves me and accept me at the way I am. I know, I can be barely the best if you teach me gentle how to do it right and show me things I cannot see. Please forgive my mistakes, I am still a kid learning the responsability of being an adult! Also please try to don’t take your own conclusions about me or what about my life means by this simple and stupid blog post! People rarely know my full name for example, so how could you pretending that you knows me so well?! How could you thought about bring me down? Sorry but even with all my issues, you failed! One thing I’ve learned well and is ‘what comes from below don’t can even affect me, happiness comes from inside and contagious the others around’. So I’ll be back on the line…

-Second just to make it clear I do not own these words, I’ve just copied and pasted it here as it might to be useful some how. Btw those articles below are a compilation of datas collected on internet.

-Finally but not last, you shouldn’t trust never 100% on things you read here, on things you hear around or especially on things what coming from the Internet and regarding third person! I’m not demanding for attention, I’m just once again sharing my fears, nightmares, thoughts, feelings etc with stranges and especially with those ones who wants to helps me to move on through this.  As I always says, is easier for me expresse myself writing down the words…


Borderline personality disorder:

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a personality disorder  described as a prolonged disturbance of personality function in a person (generally over the age of eighteen years, although it is also found in adolescents), characterized by depth and variability of moods. The disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood; black and white thinking, or splitting; the disorder often manifests itself in idealization and devaluation episodes, as well as chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual’s sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation.

BPD splitting includes a switch between idealizing and demonizing others. This, combined with mood disturbances, can undermine relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. BPD disturbances also include self-harm. Without treatment, symptoms may worsen, leading (in extreme cases) to suicide attempts.

There is an ongoing debate among clinicians and patients worldwide about terminology and the use of the word borderline, and some have suggested that this disorder should be renamed. The ICD-10 manual has an alternative definition and terminology to this disorder, called Emotionally unstable personality disorder.

There is related concern that the diagnosis of BPD stigmatizes people and supports pejorative and discriminatory practices. It is common for those suffering from borderline personality disorder and their families to feel compounded by a lack of clear diagnoses, effective treatments, and accurate information. This is true especially because of evidence that this disorder originates in the families of those who suffer from it and has a lot to do with Axis IV factors, rather than belonging strictly in Axis II. Conceptual, as well as therapeutic, relief may be obtained through evidence that BPD is closely related to traumatic events during childhood and to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), about which much more is known.

Signs and symptoms:

Borderline personality disorder is a diagnosis about which many articles and books have been written, yet about which very little is known based on empirical research.

Studies suggest that individuals with BPD tend to experience frequent, strong and long-lasting states of aversive tension, often triggered by perceived rejection, being alone or perceived failure. Individuals with BPD may show lability (changeability) between anger and anxiety or between depression and anxiety and temperamental sensitivity to emotive stimuli.

The negative emotional states specific to BPD may be grouped into four categories: destructive or self-destructive feelings; extreme feelings in general; feelings of fragmentation or lack of identity; and feelings of victimization.

Individuals with BPD can be very sensitive to the way others treat them, reacting strongly to perceived criticism or hurtfulness. Their feelings about others often shift from positive to negative, generally after a disappointment or perceived threat of losing someone. Self-image can also change rapidly from extremely positive to extremely negative. Impulsive behaviors are common, including alcohol or drug abuse, unsafe sex, gambling and recklessness in general. Attachment studies suggest individuals with BPD, while being high in intimacy- or novelty-seeking, can be hyper-alert to signs of rejection or not being valued and tend toward insecure, avoidant or ambivalent, or fearfully preoccupied patterns in relationships. They tend to view the world generally as dangerous and malevolent, and tend to view themselves as powerless, vulnerable, unacceptable and unsure in self-identity.

Individuals with BPD are often described, including by some mental health professionals (and in the DSM-IV), as deliberately manipulative or difficult, but analysis and findings generally trace behaviors to inner pain and turmoil, powerlessness and defensive reactions, or limited coping and communication skills. There has been limited research on family members’ understanding of borderline personality disorder and the extent of burden or negative emotion experienced or expressed by family members.

Parents of individuals with BPD have been reported to show co-existing extremes of over-involvement and under-involvement. BPD has been linked to increased levels of chronic stress and conflict in romantic relationships, decreased satisfaction of romantic partners, abuse and unwanted pregnancy; these links may be general to personality disorder and subsyndromal problems.

Suicidal or self-harming behavior is one of the core diagnostic criteria in DSM IV-TR, and management of and recovery from this can be complex and challenging. The suicide rate is approximately 8 to 10 percent. Self-injury attempts are highly common among patients and may or may not be carried out with suicidal intent. BPD is often characterized by multiple low-lethality suicide attempts triggered by seemingly minor incidents, and less commonly by high-lethality attempts that are attributed to impulsiveness or comorbid major depression, with interpersonal stressors appearing to be particularly common triggers. Ongoing family interactions and associated vulnerabilities can lead to self-destructive behavior. Stressful life events related to sexual abuse have been found to be a particular trigger for suicide attempts by adolescents with a BPD diagnosis.
Borderline personality disorder was once classified as a subset of schizophrenia  (describing patients with borderline schizophrenic tendencies). Today BPD is used more generally to describe individuals who display emotional dysregulation and instability, with paranoid schizophrenic ideation or delusions being only one criterion (criterion #9) of a total of 9 criteria, of which 5, or more, must be present for this diagnosis.

Individuals with BPD are at high risk of developing other psychological disorders such as anxiety and depression. Other symptoms of BPD, such as dissociation, are frequently linked to severely traumatic childhood experiences, which some put forth as one of the many root causes of the borderline personality.

Stigma:

The features of BPD include emotional instability, intense unstable interpersonal relationships, a need for relatedness and a fear of rejection. As a result, people with BPD often evoke intense emotions in those around them. Pejorative terms to describe persons with BPD such as “difficult,” “treatment resistant,” “manipulative,” “demanding” and “attention seeking” are often used, and may become a self-fulfilling prophecy as the clinician’s negative response triggers further self-destructive behaviour. In psychoanalytic theory, this stigmatization may be thought to reflect countertransference (when a therapist projects their own feelings on to a client), as people with BPD are prone to use defense mechanisms such as splitting and projective identification. Thus the diagnosis “often says more about the clinician’s negative reaction to the patient than it does about the patient … as an expression of counter transference hate, borderline explains away the breakdown in empathy between the therapist and the patient and becomes an institutional epithet in the guise of pseudoscientific jargon”

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual:

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines borderline personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:[2][17]

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image and affects, as well as marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., promiscuous sex, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse, reckless driving). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-injuring behavior covered in Criterion 5
5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self-injuring behavior such as cutting, interfering with the healing of scars (excoriation) or picking at oneself.
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness
8. Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation, delusions or severe dissociative symptoms

It is a requirement of DSM-IV that a diagnosis of any specific personality disorder also satisfies a set of general personality disorder criteria. International Classification of Disease

The World Health Organization’s ICD-10 defines a conceptually similar disorder to borderline personality disorder called (F60.3) Emotionally unstable personality disorder. It has two subtypes described below.

F60.30 Impulsive type

At least three of the following must be present, one of which must be (2):

1. marked tendency to act unexpectedly and without consideration of the consequences;
2. marked tendency to quarrelsome behaviour and to conflicts with others, especially when impulsive acts are thwarted or criticized;
3. liability to outbursts of anger or violence, with inability to control the resulting behavioural explosions;
4. difficulty in maintaining any course of action that offers no immediate reward;
5. unstable and capricious mood.

It is a requirement of ICD-10 that a diagnosis of any specific personality disorder also satisfies a set of general personality disorder criteria.

F60.31 Borderline type

At least three of the symptoms mentioned in F60.30 Impulsive type must be present [see above], with at least two of the following in addition:

1. disturbances in and uncertainty about self-image, aims, and internal preferences (including sexual);
2. liability to become involved in intense and unstable relationships, often leading to emotional crisis;
3. excessive efforts to avoid abandonment;
4. recurrent threats or acts of self-harm;
5. chronic feelings of emptiness.

It is a requirement of ICD-10 that a diagnosis of any specific personality disorder also satisfies a set of general personality disorder criteria.

Differential diagnosis:

Common comorbid (co-occurring) conditions are mental disorders such as substance abuse, depression and other mood and personality disorders.

Borderline personality disorder and mood disorders often appear concurrently. Some features of borderline personality disorder may overlap with those of mood disorders, complicating the differential diagnostic assessment.

Both diagnoses involve symptoms commonly known as “mood swings.” In borderline personality disorder, the term refers to the marked lability and reactivity of mood defined as emotional dysregulation. The behavior is typically in response to external psychosocial and intrapsychic stressors, and may arise or subside, or both, suddenly and dramatically and last for seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks or months.

Bipolar depression is generally more pervasive with sleep and appetite disturbances, as well as a marked nonreactivity of mood, whereas mood with respect to borderline personality and co-occurring dysthymia remains markedly reactive and sleep disturbance not acute.

The relationship between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder has been debated. Some hold that the latter represents a subthreshold form of affective disorder, while others maintain the distinctness between the disorders, noting they often co-occur.

Some findings suggest that BPD may lie on a bipolar spectrum, with a number of points of phenomenological and biological overlap between the affective lability criterion of borderline personality disorder and the extremely rapid cycling bipolar disorders. Some findings suggest that the DSM-IV BPD diagnosis mixes up two sets of unrelated items—an affective instability dimension related to Bipolar-II, and an impulsivity dimension not related to Bipolar-II.

It is important to emphasize that medical conditions which cause organic behavioral function may result in a clinical picture that mimics to some degree BPD. Hormonal dysfunction over a long period, or brain dysfunction (e.g. the encephalopathy caused by lyme disease) can result in identity disturbance and mood lability, as can many other chronic medical conditions such as lupus. These conditions may isolate the patient socially and emotionally, and/or cause limbic damage to the brain. However, this is not borderline personality disorder which results, but rather a reaction to the isolating circumstances caused by a medical condition and the possibly coincident struggles of the patient to control his or her mood given damage to the brain’s limbic system. Heavy alcohol usage over a long period itself can cause an encephalopathy which may cause limbic damage. Various frontal lobe syndromes can result in disinhibition and impulsive behavior.

Comorbid (co-occurring) conditions in BPD are common. When comparing individuals diagnosed with BPD to those diagnosed with other personality disorders, the former showed a higher rate of also meeting criteria for:[46]

* anxiety disorders
* mood disorders (including clinical depression and bipolar disorder)
* eating disorders (including anorexia nervosa and bulimia)
* and, to a lesser extent, somatoform or factitious disorders
* dissociative disorders
* Substance abuse is a common problem in BPD, whether due to impulsivity or as a coping mechanism, and 50 percent to 70 percent of psychiatric inpatients with BPD have been found to meet criteria for a substance use disorder, especially alcohol dependence or abuse which is often combined with the abuse of other drugs.

Inside her head, she has no place to go...

Links:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

http://www.stanford.edu/~corelli/borderline.html

About Thoughts & Chemistry

July 4, 2010

According to my Little Oxford Dictionary:

Thought¹ (noun) | 1 – an idea or opinion produced by thinking, or occurring suddenly in the mind. | 2 – the process of thinking. | 3 – (thought of) intention, hope, or idea of. | 4 – the forming of opinions, or the opinions so formed. Thought² past and past participle of THINK.

Chemistry (noun) | 1 – the branch of science concerned with the nature of substances and how they react with each other.| 2 – attraction or interaction between two people.

You know, all the time I have one million fragments of ideas floating around and into my head as I tirelessly try to fit them together day and night.
Yes, with so many words and thoughts in my head, I end up getting afraid to writing them down improperly or forgeting them, at the first place!
And it’s always just like that…
Why I cannot to write fast enough to put down at least half of my ideas and plans of which I have each 5 seconds?
Why somehow a thought always seems to get lost?
It shouldn’t be this way! This is not fair in my world…
In my head I live in a world of fantasy, where I only see what I want…
Where I want everything I feel and this is all okay by me, so please, keep your reality away from me.
There are many things that I will never stop believing or give up while I live, and today the quote below is the main one…

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Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded.
And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand, which could explain your ‘good side’ and ‘bad side’…
And it really is the most poetic thing I know about physics:
We are all stardust!
You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements – the Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen, Iron, all the things that matters for evolution and for life – weren’t created at the beginning of time.
They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if  those stars were kind enough to explode for you.
So forget everything about Jesus! Science has proved: the stars died so that you could be here today.

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We are Chemistry when we are together...

Note: Img rebloged + anonymous quote…