Posts Tagged ‘home’

Day Fifteen

March 3, 2011

Quiet day, not too many things to be done after all.

I had a look at prices for flights back to Brazil and yes they are very expensive till the 15th… The positive thing is that on one hand this mean that I’m going to spend a couple of extra days with my boyfriend but on the other hand it sucks because:
1) I have things to do there
he is getting “tired” about having me here…
Boyfriend: “No I’m not!”
Girlfriend: “yes, you’re because every joke has some truth!”
3) all this waiting only make things worse as I’m getting used to being with him so not good at all from my point of view!

Anyway it seems that my family is happy about having me back at least until the end of May (when I’m planning to book my return even though just to spend his birthday here with him)… I already start to send my resume around to find a temporary job as I really need to earn some extra money while I’m there. Friends are talking about parties and stuff…

Me, well I’m still split about staying or going. Believe me my life is not easy at all!

P.s: RALLY-DF on the 20th? Yes, I’m IN!

Day Seven

February 22, 2011

“Be careful what you wish because you just might get it”

I will not deny that one of my resolutions/wishes for 2011 was being able to live in London and have my boyfriend with me 24/7 and all those glorious things… Well, destiny has quite a “funny” (please read it as absurdly insane) way to give you what you want. Yes, I’m having all of it, but not at the right time or situation! It’s not time, I wasn’t (and still am not) ready for this…

Definitely everything would be amazing in another circumstance, if it had been planned carefully and if both of us had more time for ourselves instead of wasting a big amount of our energy trying to not get sad or distracted by trying to solve things and not making things worse between us. Because honestly the last thing I need now is to get into more troubles, especially sentimental ones! Definitely the last thing I want is to ruin what we have so far…

As I said before I am not alone, which is good but not great or enough to fix my mess. Anyway if I had the choice I swear I would have gone back to the past and have avoided certain kinds of things but now it’s just too late for something different. The worst thing about all of it is to know that somehow deep inside of me I am producing “changes” I just don’t know yet if it is for better or worse. Let’s wait and see what I might get.

P.s: despite of all my complaints, today was a good day if compared with yesterday/last week. I didn’t cry that much! Cool…and my evening is being great and cosy.

Day Two

February 17, 2011

I’m still in London…

And I really wish the circumstances were like a “liddle bit” different. At least I’m not alone and eventually things will be sorted out quickly. I keep repeating to myself “just breathe, nothing happens without a reason…” So let me see what the others will say to me tomorrow and afterwards decide what I’m going to do. At the moment I’m waiting (but not so patiently) to find out what God prepared for me this time. Anyway as the optimists often say “if there is still hope, do not give up, just give a shit”
The hardest thing has being to keep calm, focused on my extra issue without losing faith or treating people badly around me!
But yeah, better winds are to come soon…

I am trying to…I really am


October 27, 2010

And there I’m going again…






to a new white page because I deserve it. Yes, I am backing ‘home’!