Posts Tagged ‘italy’

Retrospective 2012

December 30, 2012

January – The year started with a lot of work to be done. I was emotionally destroyed but dogged to don’t let any of my dreams die. Desperate situations call for desperate measures, so once again I did what I had to do. With no complains I worked my ass off focusing on my targets. Within 4 weeks I was standing back on my feet better than ever and at the top of the world. I rented a nice place to myself and as usual I restarted from the beginning. I was ready for everything except to meet the man that would change my entire life…

February – I enjoyed every second of it. I was happy as I never was. I was settled. The weather was cold but my heart was warmed. Francesco slowly got into my plans taking a special place inside my heart.

March – Things were great and so after pondering a lot I invited Francesco to move in. A week after that I was officially presented to his parents and our weekends were mostly spent at Rasiglio and Bologna. I got used to be loved once again and I’d no secrets to hide, not this time.

April – My sentimental life was perfect and my business was doing awesomely awesome. As nothing comes for free unexpectedly my family needed me back home. So I quit my job and I flew back to my country.  I lost someone very close that I rather not to comment about… Anyways it was time to heal and to reconstruct a few bonds that were loose.

May – I spent my time over there supporting my family, collecting the pieces, going to the gym, seeing old friends and as far as I remember on Skype with Francesco… I missed him and I missed “our nest” very very much.

June – I can’t recall much of what happened and I think it’s best this way… For what I can say I was partying hard what made me lose just not a lot of weigh but also some of my track.

July – My last days at my homeland was as I like to call “normal”. After a while we were all done of each other, they couldn’t wait for me to be gone and so didn’t I. Arguments became the new good morning and it affected me more than I could handled. I was being so unlucky that I found by chance my biological mother on street. I wanted to die and another attempt was marked on my failed score. Right after that, I took the first flight back to Italy without even search for better deals. And it was the best for everyone…

August – Being home was awkward for both of us during the first days. I was what they call “recovering” and everything was weird. My love was very patient with me all along the way and I’m truly grateful for that. The night of the shooting stars (Notte di San Lorenzo) on the 11th was magical… Right after that we planned last minute vacations and it felt like honeymoon! He took me to amazing places and he did everything in his power to that become my best vacations ever. This year I’d an amazing birthday, perfection defines. It was so great that I was happy about being at the beach!

September – Backing to civilization I did my acceptance test to start my third post-graduation and I got 4 of 5 votes. I started a Master course in Cinema at IULM but within weeks I knew that that wasn’t for me. I slowly started becoming depressed again (in fact I think I haven’t recovered well backing in time). Anyways it was a tough month where I couldn’t find a place to be. At home I remember playing housewife a lot, I tried to fill my days by trying to be “perfect”.

October – Francesco and I decided to adopt a kitten. We agreed that it was a good thing for me as I was feeling lonely because of his late hours at the office. Nick lived with us for almost two amazing and very happy weeks till his premature death… I was heartbroken once again… Meanwhile a good friend of mine came to visit me. Michael originally from Great Britain travelled from Berlin to Milan to spend a long weekend with us. For my surprise the boys did great together and it made me very proud of my choice this time. I showed Michael  the city I love in a way I haven’t done yet – We parted and got drank and talked and walked a lot too! He cheered me up and that helped me to see things through. I realised that I like cinema but I do love photography… so I was decided I was going to change University and course!

November – With a delay of one month and a half I convinced the President of the Institute and the Coordinator of the course that I was the type of student that they were looking for! I did my second admission test and once again I was accepted with honours to study Photography & Fine Arts. I was feeling very proud of myself, proud of my abilities, content with life in general! I was about to start studying something that I love in a place that I liked with people that seemed to be just like me – a bunch artists trying to find a place in the sun! I can say that I was finally at the right place.

December – The month started with paramedics at home, and this time it wasn’t my fault but it was due to a spinal block… The MRI accused that I’ve a huge hernia between the L4 and the L5. Awesome to do not say FML! Over ten days in bed, no school, no fun. The selling became my closest friend and I felt bad for my love that had to do everything for the both of us – from shower to cooking. After that with strong meds I started to recovering my moves so slowly I get back to my activities. I went to school, I hang out with colleagues, I was once again having fun. Things at home was settled and Francesco and I survived to another “end of the world” laughing a lot about it. The Christmas week was spent in Bologna and I can comfortably say we were all in family even though I missed my own ones… Once back to Milan good news arrived from Brazil! My little sister told me that next year I’m going to become an auntie of two and this time we are all hoping for a baby girl but if not another baby boy will be more than welcome as well! I’m excited about life and about the future in general. As weird as it sound I know that this time the best is yet to come!

2012

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Back to School: the Monday after

September 24, 2012

I’ve never thought I would feel so tired for being back at the University after 5 years just travelling the world. Brazil, Chile, Antarctic Peninsula, Bolivia, Argentine, Paraguay, Belgium, Holland, Denmark, France, United Kingdom, Croatia, Turkey, Slovenia, Switzerland, Portugal, Spain, Italy and so on…  Today it feels like the tiredness of the world rests on me!

Nonetheless here I am, in Milan, starting my second week of a course that will last for at least the next two years, of course if the world doesn’t end first. And I will not deny that I’m already praying for God to get me through this alive and if possible with some vestige of social life – despite my natural awkwardness among people and rage against society I enjoy going out as weird as it sound.

(giggles)

Jokes apart, during the last week I spent 85% of my time at the Campus having lessons. With the remaining 15%, 10% I was studying at home and basically only 5% of it was dedicated for the basics stuff. Not even the weekend off I’d this time as I was at Bologna following my beloved in his family events… Although exhausted the truth is that I’m very satisfied of having a hectic routine once again! I wouldn’t dare to complaining a single word about anything. But I need to certainly and as soon as possible setting up my schedules and get used to this new life style of mine.

If ready to sacrifice a few things in order to a solid and better future well not so sure yet but no doubts a Master course in Cinema, Television and New Media will do only good to me and to my academic background full based in Social Communication focused in Photography and Multimedia production.

As usual, I’m aiming high and I can’t wait to see where this audacious choice will lead me.

Baby, you have to have guts and a good dose of craziness to do half of the things I do!

 

 

 

Summer 2012

September 4, 2012

Should I apologise for the inconstancy of posting?
Nhannnn no, I guess I shouldn’t, not this time!
However, September began nicely but I’m still living in August…
A few weeks ago I turned 29, which was kind of surprising.
I spent my birthday in Rome. And despite have been living in Italy since 2008 this was my first time at the city (as airports does not actually count).
I couldn’t be in a better company, my lovely guy was there with me and he gave me the vacations of my dreams in all meanings!
After enjoyed an amazing week in Rome we went to the Maldives of Salento to continuing our vacation in total relax for another 10 more days in paradise. And as odd as it may sound I loved alot being at the beach.
Anyways, I could write down much more about our entire schedules, the places we saw, interesting things we did, places where we ate, what we ate, give away full tips about the “where to go & what to do” and so on but honestly who in the world would seriously cares about it without envy the life I conquered? Peace seems to finally be taking place on me and certain things were made to be kept on pvt, this lesson I learnt well. So for this reason I’ll dare to share only part of the story by using some of the pictures I took.
Have fun…

.: Rome :.

.: Le Maldives del Salento :.

Happy Birthday to Me!

August 15, 2012

I want more tattoos, and perhaps a new hair cut or get a bit tanned this summer…
I want to keep on travelling the world, I want a different dress for each day of the month and I want to use make up even if I’m not going anywhere special.
I want to feel and look pretty inside and out.
I want to walk around barefoot in the grass or along the beach every night of every summer for the rest of my life.
I want to for 5 minutes lie naked on the first night of snowing and watch shooting stars in the dark sky.
I want to be tall enough to taste the clouds, but small enough to crawl in bed and stay there for days.
I want to read tons of books, but I want to stay out late sometimes.
I want to make mistakes, a lot of them!
I want to spend a whole year learning and speaking a new language.
I want to write a book that no one is ever going to read.
I want to lose myself in someone’s skin.
I want to fall back in love with the same person for years to come.
I want to write letters that I’ll never going to send and I want to keep them for time enough to forget about the words I wrote down.
I want to cry my heart out for the wrong reasons, to start over a few times before I get it right.
I want to love it with everything I have.
I want to accept my imperfections.
I want scare strangers on the street, or simply to hug them for no reason.
I want to dye my hair two different colours and I want to paint my nails the colour of the sea.
I want to let myself angry and sad, and I want to cut myself open and tell the truth about it.
I want to take pictures of everyone, everything and everywhere I know.
I want to get a bus without knowing where its going to take me.
I want to stand on top of the rocks in the park and remember what it feels like to stand there for the very first time.
I want to sing out loud even when I’m not quite sure of what I’m singing.
I want to jump off bridges and survive and I’m going to write it all down in diaries.
This year I want to set my own North and live the way I want to.

.:It’s a good good life:.

Hey look at me, I am a grown up!

May 25, 2012

I know, I know there hasn’t been many personal posts here lately and that’s because I no longer feel the urge to constantly make private things public. Everything is different now, I’ve adopting the policy of Preserve the Privacy, which is awesome! Less gossiping, less people trying to put me down, more but much more of ‘I do whatever I want to’ and that’s how I am really happy. Without mention that what Francesco and I have is really special and unique and complicated and fun to both of us that I don’t dare to share much of it with strangers. I guess that’s the true sign of knowing that I love this guy completely: it’s ours and only ours.

However, it’s always the little things though, right?

So I say he has this particular way of surprising me all the time with his manners, sincerity and passion for life.
Of course we don’t have a perfect relationship but we are the best couple ever. He’s my friend, my lover, my accomplice and sometimes my opponent.I couldn’t imagine better fit for my life than him.
He is my man!

Probably this is the wisest, honest and sappy thing I have ever typed into this space and I couldn’t be happier, I couldn’t be more content with my life. Being a blogger is great BUT nothing’s better than being a beloved woman, living in a happy and harmonic house with a caring partner.

Fra, you are the best I ever had! Thanks for dreaming my dreams.

.:comforting love:.

We are very proud of this painting!

Letters to Francesco | part II

May 11, 2012

I really admire you not because you’re someone I really love but as an individual.
I appreciate your entire being and the more I get to know you the more I respect you.
I want you to never doubt about how much I care and how much you’re important to me.
I want to be someone you can go to when you’re mad, disappointed, excited, happy or all the other emotions that are running through your mind.
I want you to always count on me.
I want to be there for you as much as you are there for me, always.
I want to be the one to keep you company yet give you the space you need.
I want to be able to always talk and express all my feelings and concerns to you because I feel you are able to help me and support me through it all. Although there are times where we may not be able to understand each other fully, we’ve to do our best to at least try to understand halfway rather than not at all.
I want us to put ourselves in each other’s shoes to relate and try to see through each other’s point of view of what’s going on.
I want to be able to talk things out before we’ve the chance to assume the worst of one another.
I want the two of us to carry on building not just a relationship but that kind of amazing friendship that’ll keep us very close.
Actually I want us to be a team instead of a couple.
I want to make you happy each and every day by putting a smile upon your face no matter how much this could cost me.
I know where my priorities belong but you are set among the list, just not as my first because my life would not revolve around you. However, since I first met you, you automatically became a part of my life, and I’d like to share that with you, together with all joys and sorrows.
I want to create thousands of remarkable moments with you; especially those special moments when it’s just us two.
And I don’t really care where we go, as long as I get to be with you because “home” is wherever I am with you.
I want to tell you the truth from the very beginning to all times, I’ve given my heart to you with no hesitations because I believe in you and I. And I hope we’ll last because we can conquer every situation as long as we’re able to talk it out and accept each other for who we are.
This time I don’t want a fairy tale love that is always so “lovey dovey”. I am not the princess who need to be saved… I am the troubled girl who makes somehow things happen, and I like being this way. Because along the years I noticed every time something seems so perfect, there must be at least one flaw that separates what we want as opposed to what we are afraid of and this sucks.
With you I want to be brave and fearless with an adventurous type of love where we’ll do as we desire as long as we set our minds upon it. I am in love with our adventure and I am certain that the way we are doing will take us far in life.
I’ll always support you and cheer you on with your ambitions and goals as much as I can just not because you do this to me but because you deserve my attention in whatever you propose yourself to do. I will criticize you if I have to and I expect from you no more and no less than this.
I want us to go hand in hand with a promise; not to leave one another behind.
I want to keep on trusting you with my eyes closed and my heart open and know that you won’t ever let me down because I won’t ever do that to you.
I want to create a bond where we would synchronize our minds and hearts as one. Yet I want the two of us to be as free as birds.
You deserve to be happy and loved and so do I, so let’s help one another.
I want to keep showing you how much I am worth to be with.
And I hope to always be your choice because you will always be mine.
I hope we can both build each other up and learn more about one another each and every day.
And even when I’m not that close to you, always know that I’m always thinking about you and how you’re doing.
Last but not least, if I had to die a thousand times a day I would do it for you!

Letters to Francesco | part I

April 3, 2012

However cliché it may sound, you are everything I have ever wanted.
You are everything I never thought was possible to find in just one man.
You are charming and kind.
You are determined, polite and impulsive as much as me.
You know when to give in and you recognize when to say “I’m sorry” and it’s beautiful to see that you truly mean every word that you speak.
You are human, then yes, sometimes you fail but you show me every time that at least you tried your best towards me or anything else that you proposed to do.
You have the most lovely Italian accent I’ve ever heard and that makes anything you speak sounds good.
I love the way you say “cazzo” and “pizza” with your tongue between your teeth and I want you to know that I simply melt every time you say “hi honey” or when you look me in the eyes and softly kiss my cheeks before you fiercely kiss my lips.
You changed me for good.
You brought me back to life.
You are and always will be that loving and caring guy that every girl is always dreaming of.
I feel so lucky to have you by my side, dear love of mine!
And all I want is to never disappoint you for the choices you’ve made to be with me. I am going to take you fully and never let you go. I accept you by everything you are as the same way you did this to me without any hesitation.
You are funny and your laugh always make me smile even when the only thing I want is to cry or to punch you in the face for some stupid mistake you’ve made.
Whenever I see you, I feel loved and quite often I feel like a little kid discovering the world for the very first time, because you show me the world I already know in a different way. I’m learning how to see through your eyes and yet I am also teaching you how to seeing things from my perspective and all this is amazingly “wow”. And it’s so pure and fabulous the way we understand one another.
I see on you the necessary dose of madness and strength to make it work and you probably have no idea of how sexy you look and sound every time you say “gia”, “dai, facciamolo!” or “non mollare mai” . I’ve never met someone like you and I couldn’t be happier for have had the chance to.
You are able to dream my dreams and I feel so proud of you!
Its impressive the number of things in which we equally gave up or handled just to be together, I am amazed!
Thank you a lot.
Not a doubt it’s all new to me too.
Not a doubt we will eventually find some bumps in the road.
Not a doubt that I never knew about this kind of love before.
I know that you knows how you already mean to me…
I love you Francesco, I really do, though sometimes I just don’t have enough words to say how big it is!
By now all I can say is that, you like it or not, you are and will always be my little bird from always to forever.

Yours,
Piccina picciò

Mwaaaahh!

N is for nest

March 6, 2012

The more I get to know him, the more I convince myself that he is as unique and special as I am.
We match perfectly to the point to look at shit through each other’s eyes.
He really understands me and accept my reasons in which I do (did) certain things like no one ever will…
He knows me plain and raw, taking me in full from top to bottom and its reciprocal.
I admire him in basically everything he does and his presence light up just not my day but my life.
This is all new to me and I guess I’ve never felt this way…
The connection we have is impressive, so impressive that seems we are inside of each other’s mind all the time! We communicate through the silence, (not to mention the IT & ENG used) yeah it is all so wonderful and so magical and powerful.
Wow!
I have no words to describe my feelings for him…
And those three little words aren’t good enough to express what we feel.

I know it may sound crazy but this guy and I do believe that “the search” is over. And for this reason, about just a month later, we’ve decided to settle down and in a way I’ve never thought would happen to me any time soon! We are already immensely committed, present and future with him by my side looks so bright and so promising! I feel like on the top of the world and I have no shame to say that I only have reasons to thank God for this blessing. Plus I don’t feel any bad of freely admit that my heart is now totally mended after all and that I am completely ready to embrace with my arms wide open this new relationship.
The truth is that this amazing guy truly wants me as much as I already want him to the point of doing everything to keep me by his side. He’s showing me this in so many different ways, day after day with gestures and kind actions.
We talk openly about everything though what fascinates me most is the fact that we both live for the day and because of it every big step we take feels so damn right like 1+1 = 2!
No regrets are allowed, we have no half measures so it can’t go wrong! I feel like I finally found my little bird and I feel it all just not with my body, I can say that I feel it with my entire soul.
He is all the time in my thoughts. He makes me feel secure and completely free and it’s rare; I don’t feel empty or trapped or blue anymore. With him I can be myself without have to hide my flaws, with him I do not have to worry about a thing because he cares a lot about me, he doesn’t measure efforts to provide me everything I need even regarding my staying on the Schengen area!
This time I am indeed the luckiest girl in the world.
And it’s so beautiful and I so love his gaze and the tone of his voice every time he says “Ciao Carol” or “hey honey, how are you today?”
His smile and the sound of his heart beating next to mine… God, it is one of the best feelings in the world!!!
I fully enjoy his company at any time of my day, from waking up to going to sleep right next to him…

We are more than just great together and that is the reason why I’m so excited about everything!
Spring time is coming soon and YESSS, we are going to build our nest!
A nest where we don’t need to fear the outcome of being ourselves as the way we are.
A nest where we’ll be able to find respect and comfort on each other.
A nest where we can freely play jokes and laugh about silly things.
A nest where communication, trust and honesty are going to be the basis of everything else.
And it’s going to be clean and simple and I pray for it to be far better than ever was because we belong to the same “breed of birds”. I am glad I fell in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time and this is a huge sign that the “meant to be” really exist. Now looking back I fully understand and accept that everything happened for a reason. It’s still kinda odd to think that I moved to Italy sometime in 2008 though just now was that I finally found my Italian guy… Anyways, if I had a chance to change a thing in my past I wouldn’t change anything, because everything that was done brought me somehow towards him.
And everybody knows that I’m not a girl “easy to handle” but this guy is completely able to, he truly inspires me to be the best I can be.
Yes, I have the warmest feelings for him!
FUCK YES I have for him the most sincere 01101100011011110111011001100101 in the universe!

anche io!!!

On a morning like this

February 1, 2012

It’s early morning, the snow falls lightly on the outside.
I know I shouldn’t but I kinda miss you like hell.
Everything inside of me screams for you to show up and sweep me up in your arms, to take me over and love me wildly once again.
It has been four days since the last time I saw you!
I’m over here.
You are over there and I can’t wait to see you tonight.
No one else will understand this, but I pray for you to.
I want the “us” on you and I to be always free.
If I walk away, please follow me.

I like you…

Bologna

La Dolce Vita

September 25, 2010

Sweet you and I...

Insieme a te tutto sembra molto piu bello…
Mi manchi cosi tanto che a volte vorei proprio tirarti fuori dei miei sogni per riabbracciarci davvero.
<5

4h39am

July 28, 2010

‘Love’ was when you pass by me accidentally
Was when the distance was measured by a phone calls and just a few minutes away.
You grabbed a sense of my smile, my total attention and much more…
But between ‘us’ there is nothing that could last for more than just nights.

I wished I could have shown you only the real ‘me’, the normal girl
So I can’t…
Now, we are not so ‘right’, but even not so that ‘wrong’.
You’re careful with yourself when you say “I won’t to surrender by ilusion, I don’t know what to do”…
And me either but just let’s live for a day, like there is no ‘tomorrow’!

We’re different, yet the same.
Now I need to effort every time that I cannot no longer see you to see
When we cannot just feel to feel
The power of you touching me, kissing me, hugging me, then leaving me…I will never forget.
Now I’m alone tonight I don’t know where you are.
But that’s okay, because soon I will find a way to bring you back to me once again,
As always pretending that could be forever even knowing that it might be the last time.

.

super quero!

.
#img_reblogged

ti penso troppo…

July 21, 2010

…e questo è vero.
Non lo so cosa me hai fatto, non riesco ad capire fino adesso cosa commina su di me a essere cosi, e ne anche perche.
Sei diverso, sei speciale… come pocchi che ho avuto nella mia vità fino ad allora. Magari impossibile che succeda qualcosa reale, lo so… perche è cosi, ciò è, che capita sempre a me.
Ho trascorso i miei giorni ricordando gli cose sulla mia testa, nel mio pensieri, nei miei sogni… dove ci sei spesso, anzi sempre!
Sei stato la mia meglio sorpresa sui questi giorni e io sono da vero molto contenta con tutto quello che non è “niente”. Comunque… senza problemi, visto che la tua presenza gia è tanto per me. Ero stanca di sentirsi sola anche se circondata di persone tutto il tempo!
Tutti mi dicono che sono pazza, che sono fuori; e può darse che sia proprio cosi.
Loro mi dicono che io sbaglio di brutto, ma ti pensando meglio, forse se non c’erano dei sbagli, la vità non sarebbe cosi bella come è adesso!

N.B: Grazie mille, per tutto ciò che non è ancora in grado di immaginare, ma mi hai cambiato un sacco! =]

.

.

“Tonight I’m tangled in my blanket of clouds
Dreaming aloud
Things just won’t do without you, matter of fact
I’m on your back
If you walk out on me
I’m walking after you
If you walk out on me
I’m walking after you
If you’d accept surrender, I’ll give up some more
Weren’t you adored
I cannot be without you, matter of fact
I’m on your back
If you walk out on me
I’m walking after you
If you walk out on me
I’m walking after you
Another heart is cracked in two
I’m on your back
I cannot be without you, matter of fact
I’m on your back
If you walk out on me
I’m walking after you
If you walk out on me
I’m walking after you
If you walk out on me
I’m walking after you
Another heart is cracked in two”
Walking After You (Foo Fighters)

Smiling without no reason…

December 23, 2009

//

Today I decided just walking around before come back to home and when I saw this bike on the street something has changed.
I could not resist and I took this picture.
I was feeling great and now I’m feeling even better!
I’m smiling without no reason (always and again).
I feel like I could float.
Strange…
I miss you (…)  just for one day: TODAY
And it was just because that picture made me to reminds you…

É estranho...ter saudades do que eu nunca cheguei a ter.

[12-22-09 | 19h27]

S2

note: I recomend this song to ‘feel’ the mood:

AIR / All I need

My job, my life!

September 25, 2009
beautiful evening

beautiful evening

happy to make part of this!

happy to make part of this!

Have things that no need any explanation … my happiness with my job at the new agency TnT Model Management is one of these things!

Tks God for everything!!!

Last night

September 19, 2009

Well, tonight will be my last night at the old apartment…bad memories bye bye. A new life are coming and im feeling great!
From tomorrow will be a restart on my life! And you know what, tomorrow  20th of September, make exactly 1 year that I’m here in Italy! I can’t realize that when I saw it on my calendar… Bah, unbelievable I’m surprised! And its ok because I’ll be closing one cycle and is perfect think like this…
I’m loving my new lifestyle, so more exciting than before (for real!) …
Is unpriceless be myself!

😉

I start to dicover a new city full of good possibilities, full of life, colors, sounds…
I don’t need anything more, my past I’ll keep away from me finally! Tks God for everything!
After tomorrow only good and new things will be part of my life. Only!
I’m self-confident that I’ll be ok by my self and anyway just in case, if maybe I need I knew how to made good friends! Thank you all I’m always thinking of you guys.
Very soon I’ll keep you in posted.
Cheers! Let’s celebrate!!!

Enjoy your life we only live once!

Enjoy your life we only live once!