Posts Tagged ‘london’

Day Thirty Three | Letters to him part X

March 18, 2011

And tonight is the night where I will not be lying beside your body, tonight is the night where destiny decided to press “PAUSE” on our love and put another bump on the path… tonight is the night that I will start again another countdown to be with you again.
I will miss everything about London.
Thank you is nothing but mediocre after all you did for (and to!) me…
Love, life, future, a place to stay and much more you gave to me without even thinking twice, without demanding anything in return except me as I am.
I miss you already my lovely British heart and the worst is that we haven’t kissed goodbye yet…
I will pray for patience, I will pray for us…
And after all we lived together over the past 5 weeks I made a promise to myself, nothing will change the dreams I have with you, nothing or nobody will stop me seeking for you anywhere I go… No one will replace you inside my heart.
I promise you!

I LOVE YOU!

Day Twenty something

March 13, 2011

It’s Sunday and it has been seven days already without publishing anything… My apologies for my absence but I had a tough week, problems and more complications have been filling my days. I wish not but unfortunately it’s true, I’ve been dealing with so many issues and over the past month my life has become upside down and inside out. Luckily weekends are usually good even though I’m feeling extremely sleepy.
Ready to read about my week backwards? I hope so…

Sunday: today I woke up early but I was able to enjoy a lazy morning in bed with G.N.B., lots of hugs and kisses and something else was allowed. I wish all my mornings was just like the one I had, but maybe in the future. Then we had some breakfast and right after that we cleaned the flat. Plans for the day, well just do nothing! The weather was miserable so no visit to Kew Gardens, what a pity! Late afternon we enjoyed bed and then we went for a walk along the canal. Now he is preparing a delicious dinner just for us and maybe in a bit we will go to The Weir…
Saturday: we woke up early too and every sound was too loud, everything was too bright, awful physical sensation but emotionally feeling great despite the body limitations… Whatever, even hungover we were out of bed before 9am ready for a busy morning seeing flats on sale and it was amazing, I quite love to feel like we are planning our future together! After seeing 2 of the 4 flats we both were craving for a bacon sandwich to cure a bit of our hangover feelings and it worked quite well! During the afternoon we chilled on the sofa while watching the Rugby and then some Tv Shows we both follow like House and V. Around 5pm we went for walk in Syon Park. Lovely place, no ending fields, very quiet with a stunning river at the end – simply perfect! Before going back home we went to the supermarket, very quickly just to buy vanilla ice cream and sparkling water. Yummy! Our evening was watching more Tv Shows and movies with pizza and ice cream (of course not mixed!). Before 11pm I was dead, very sleepy, ready for bed. What a fat day I had and I didn’t feel guilty at all!
Friday: Exactly one month ago I remember coming to London just for the weekend but then I’m still here since that. So 30 days sharing my life and problems with my boyfriend, 30 days full of ups and downs, 30 days completely dependent on others! Anyway life is a mess but the show must go on… My day wasn’t interesting at all, I was still feeling sick from yesterday but not because I’ve been drinking every day (which in some ways is true but just a bit) anyway, I was feeling sick because my body decided to after so much stress, so I spent my whole day in bed. I cried in the morning while speaking on the phone with my manager regarding problems with my Bank account. Fifty percent of what he said made sense but the other fifty percent was completely insane! Hello I’m abroad and the last thing I deserve at the moment is to stay without my money!!! The problem happened just because they thought it would be safe to block my cards till they check with me if the transactions I’ve been doing were really correct… Cool, I hate them! Friday night we went to The Weir for massive drinks with Jenna and Rob. I loved to met them, she is lovely and we chatted for ages, I’m really glad that we match perfectly! Rob is funny, and we laughed for hours before we were kicked out and of course everybody was drunk, I mean very happy. Time for bed and forgetting about the world…
Thursday: was also hellish, I spent my morning sick and on Skype with a friend tying to help him while he was packing some of my stuff to send me here. Imagine someone lazy, uncoordinated and too busy to finish what he had started. Voilà, these are my friends in Italy but before I start to complain about them I think it would be better if I keep my thoughts just to myself… Then in the afternoon my package was supposed to be delivered via courier but hell there’s no reason to rush right, so it was postponed until the day after. Fantastic, now I pray to God to receive this in time. My night was a bit better, boyfriend home early, supermarket, yummy dinner and then drinks at The Weir. (No reasons to feel like an alcoholic right?! Just drinks almost every night…) Anyway, what a trick my night ended as a hellishly, the problem with my bank started around 23h while I tried to get some cash and of course I went to bed crying because just not for the fact I wasn’t successful but especially because my money had dissapeared from my internet bank! Really cool uhum?!
Wednesday: was “normal”, grey weather, just chilling at home but without so many problems to fix which was okay. During the afternoon Sophie and I made some delicious cupcakes, chocolate flavour, marshmallows and lemon stars on the top! Was really good to chat with her and the sweets were really delicious! Yummy! In the evening I went to the train station to collect my lovely boyfriend then some Tv Shows on the sofa with him, pizza and the whole night just for us. I really like nights like that!
Tuesday: was good fun, G. and I took the train together in the morning, he went to work at the office and I spent my morning in Starbucks doing some research about schools. We had lunch together and after that I went to visit 03 different schools. Well only 33.33333333333333% of my visits were successeful. The Malvern House was the only one I could perfectly picture myself studying in; the other two The Willians College and The English Studio I swear that my first impression was turn around and start to run, which was confirmed after I’d spoken with the staff! Too old, too weird, too disorganized, not interesting at all, too common from my point of view! I might be wrong but my feelings didn”t trust them even a bit.
Finally my rewind finishes on Monday, lovely weather, sunshine, warm wind with blue sky… Lazy morning, hugs and kisses while being his little spoon. He went to work aroung midday I met him for lunch before I started my school hunting. On my schedule during the afternoon was The International House and the Oxford House College. I’m getting used to walk around London on my own, the tube system is fabulous and I cannot wait to be living here after the Summer! Was really easy to find the addresses and I will not deny that I fell in love with the Ih even before I got onto the campus!!! Amazing glass building, located in a great area, fantastic atmosphere inside the school, friendly staff, everything clean and new, high level of prestige and during my tour everybody was very professional and kind. The only problem I see is that it will cost me lots. OUSH! More than 4.000,00£ for a 24 week course but if I get the rest of the money requested I will enrol for classes there without thinking twice! Almost the same happened with the Oxford House College, they really looked very professional, the campus is also located in a good area, also easy to find, Starbucks nearby (awesome), staff not too friendly but very professional, useful while giving me information. If I want I can book a trial class for free just to get a feeling for the teaching, check out their methodologies which will definitely help me in my evaluation of the schools. Their prices were okay, not as expensive as the Ih but also not as cheap as the others. I will keep them in mind for sure! I did two test levels and to my surprise my level is higher than I’d thought! Then I met G. near the office, we talked about our journeys before we took the train back home to have dinner with Sophie and his father. After that a quick jump to The Weir for drinks and more talk.

Well basically that was my crazy week and I still have another five days to get the best of London as I really want to restart my life here… Now without further ado I finish this post with my new mantra “I might be lost but I’m not alone!” so I just need to truly believe that everything will be sorted out and that there will be a future waiting for us.

@Syon Park

Day Fifteen

March 3, 2011

Quiet day, not too many things to be done after all.

I had a look at prices for flights back to Brazil and yes they are very expensive till the 15th… The positive thing is that on one hand this mean that I’m going to spend a couple of extra days with my boyfriend but on the other hand it sucks because:
1) I have things to do there
2)
he is getting “tired” about having me here…
Boyfriend: “No I’m not!”
Girlfriend: “yes, you’re because every joke has some truth!”
3) all this waiting only make things worse as I’m getting used to being with him so not good at all from my point of view!

Anyway it seems that my family is happy about having me back at least until the end of May (when I’m planning to book my return even though just to spend his birthday here with him)… I already start to send my resume around to find a temporary job as I really need to earn some extra money while I’m there. Friends are talking about parties and stuff…

Me, well I’m still split about staying or going. Believe me my life is not easy at all!

P.s: RALLY-DF on the 20th? Yes, I’m IN!

Day Fourteen

March 1, 2011

It’s time to listen to my heart instead of seeking miracles.
It’s done…
I’m sick of hearing from the others* (please read * as Embassies and Authorities) the same advice* (incorrect information).
If there’s no other way to solve it, so ok I accept the hardest way… and actually this is exactly what my heart has been telling me to do since this afternoon.

I had an important conversation with the most important person in my life and YES, HE IS IN!
So from now besides myself no one else’s opinion matters… My apologies to my friends who think they know how I should feel or what I should do with my life but this is my decision and it will be me who will live with the consequences that my actions will bring.
I’m not feeling unsuccessful but of course all of this has been a bit frustrating. Anyway, I’m going back to where I come from for a  little while but just because I want to be able to go even further with my future. And yes my future includes him!
Funny how things are, nothing happens without a reason and deep inside of me I always knew that love deals with anything even across the ocean.

Well this time I am willing myself to not let it drown or fade away. It will be not easy to carry on fighting for our future but I think we will survive after all. I honestly believe in my feelings for him so I shouldn’t be afraid to jump into this even if to do this it is necessary to stay apart for a short period of time…
I’m gonna stick out the long distance thing, I mean, I will keep myself focused on positive things to raise me up as we both really want it to last forever.
So now it is time to be stronger once again and pass another test.
I’m gonna stop looking at this like a problem and instead welcome it as an obstacle that I am gonna overcome and prove to everyone just how strong we really are, how strong I became after all.
Who knows, maybe while this is going on I can figure out what to really do with my life (even though we spoke about it and  we both want the same thing) and find out things I never knew about myself.
Who knows what the future can bring and what is in store for us!

I’m a bit lost but I’m not alone!

Day thirteen

March 1, 2011

Misserable weather, 6°C very windy and raining in London but luckily boyfriend was/is around to warm me up and make me carry on with my stuff!
I am so thankful that G.N.B. has been an amazing bf to me and I risk to say that yes, we are getting completely comfortable with the other’s presence.

*giggling*

However, today I’ve got a couple of news, which was good although it’s yet too soon to celebrate something…
Oh Gosh, the more I think the less I know about what I should do… or as the youngster says maybe it’s just me worrying too much without a proper reason.
:s
But honestly I can’t see any problem in seeing problems in almost everything!
Anyway tomorrow will be a brand new day and I’m praying for a better sign…
Night night my boyfriend is already waiting for me to publish this post and read me kid’s books till I fall asleep.

Day twelve

February 28, 2011

It’s the end of Sunday night, 22h30 local time (UK). A new week is about to start and I’m pretty tired and already sleepy. Some hope is in my soul at the moment.. I’m quite excited looking forward to the future! Future includes boyfriend, new master course, London, maybe New York City in about three years or so… Lots of A and B plans, which is good.
Just a random comment, I cannot remember having so many glasses of good wine and gin in my life before…and to be honest I haven’t decided yet if it’s good or not.
Anyway the weather changes here as the wind blows and the same happens with my mood most of the time… But I think he is getting used to me and we have been doing very well “living together”.
Night night tomorrow a new day is coming.

Day Seven

February 22, 2011

“Be careful what you wish because you just might get it”

I will not deny that one of my resolutions/wishes for 2011 was being able to live in London and have my boyfriend with me 24/7 and all those glorious things… Well, destiny has quite a “funny” (please read it as absurdly insane) way to give you what you want. Yes, I’m having all of it, but not at the right time or situation! It’s not time, I wasn’t (and still am not) ready for this…

Definitely everything would be amazing in another circumstance, if it had been planned carefully and if both of us had more time for ourselves instead of wasting a big amount of our energy trying to not get sad or distracted by trying to solve things and not making things worse between us. Because honestly the last thing I need now is to get into more troubles, especially sentimental ones! Definitely the last thing I want is to ruin what we have so far…

As I said before I am not alone, which is good but not great or enough to fix my mess. Anyway if I had the choice I swear I would have gone back to the past and have avoided certain kinds of things but now it’s just too late for something different. The worst thing about all of it is to know that somehow deep inside of me I am producing “changes” I just don’t know yet if it is for better or worse. Let’s wait and see what I might get.

P.s: despite of all my complaints, today was a good day if compared with yesterday/last week. I didn’t cry that much! Cool…and my evening is being great and cosy.

Day Five

February 20, 2011

It’s Sunday, life sucks…especially when you cannot find any kind of “quick solution” and your head insists on trying to explode every 5 seconds, over and over again… my boyfriend has been helping me and together I know we can fix this… Yeah, together we can accomplish anything!

Day Four

February 19, 2011

24/7×5…

daily routine: some tear drops, plus high stress but also lots of hugs and kisses and “us” being very understanding about everything. One of the best things about us?! It is finding a way of making jokes about each other and laughing out loud a lot! Yeah, we’re such a good couple when we are doing this!

Day Two

February 17, 2011

I’m still in London…

And I really wish the circumstances were like a “liddle bit” different. At least I’m not alone and eventually things will be sorted out quickly. I keep repeating to myself “just breathe, nothing happens without a reason…” So let me see what the others will say to me tomorrow and afterwards decide what I’m going to do. At the moment I’m waiting (but not so patiently) to find out what God prepared for me this time. Anyway as the optimists often say “if there is still hope, do not give up, just give a shit”
The hardest thing has being to keep calm, focused on my extra issue without losing faith or treating people badly around me!
But yeah, better winds are to come soon…

I am trying to…I really am

Day One

February 16, 2011

“Tomorrow will be better” yes, we need to think positively…

About a Love Story

December 17, 2010

Isn’t easy to keep a love story by distance but it’s not impossible either!
Physically we are about 956km or 516 miles away. Emotionally and mentally just 2 clicks from a Skype conversation or a phone call…
Believe you or not but we have been doing that for the past 11 months, in which we have experienced extremely feelings, going from good to bad though but always getting back to the right road… always getting back to the each other arms. And hopefully neither of those kind of ‘falls’ we’d were deep enough to bring us down and make us want to quit of our love.
Actually, not only speaking for myself, we both agreed that it made us even more stronger than we had ever thought we was or what our feelings for each other could be about.
Exactly now we’re apart, but I’m going to go to see him soon again and whenever I think of him I try to imagine him as words in my head: clever, charming, a bit stubborn, extremely sexy, witty…
Or as dreams that coming during my nights and days, without control, gracefully and unforgettable…
While we are apart I try to somehow form a perfect memory of him, of ‘us’ as pictures which remained in my mind forever. I do that in the way that comes to me most naturally – using words. And that is the reason why I am filling on this white and boring (virtual) piece of paper…
I have missing him so much theses days!
I miss the way he used to look at me in the morning, the way he used to hug me tight every time I dared to put my head on his chest, the way he smiled at me making me smiling back at time… I miss his good smell, his incredible voice and his adorable blue eyes… The way how he used to staring on me when only the comfort silence was what remained between us. Sometimes his gaze were full of wonder and others full of silly doubts and certain wishes that also I was having. We are so alike and I might to confess that it scares me and surprise me at the same!
When I keep myself looking back at the past, I stay proud in say that honestly do not regret about anything what I done in my life; and have him feeling safe now to diving inside my world completely is one of the best things that I will never forget from 2010. We are just like wine, we are getting better and better with the time.
We know that the time are passing, and we won’t to lose a chance to look forward. Life must to go on, no matter happens just with what make us happy and I definitely cannot wait for what 2011 will bring to us!
I’m so fortunate and I do recognize this! We will have the possibility to be watching the New Year’s Eve together in London; I will be where I supposed to be most of time, I will be at his arms and I think I should be mandatorily grateful every single morning for have met him! Because chances of found without even being looking for one so good guy as him and get it as my boyfriend – one in a billion!
I will not deny that sometimes I cry without a reason, that sometimes both of us wished just have one second together to punch each other face… That the lack of his presence in my days is painful or that I’m holding so bad for the future, for our future close together.
We have no more secrets and we’re trying hard to not get or let the other hurt.
He opened my eyes to see that our relationship is built not on the sand, not at the daily routine or into just sex and promises that were made to being broken, but instead of, it is building on honest and clear conversations, strong feelings, whishes and in one insane and unsatisfied will of more and more!
Yes, I love him as I have never thought I could love somebody like this before.
We are unique and I want to be this way for a long long time yet.
Yes, I want him to want us to last forever!

.

No doubt, one of my favourite pictures of ‘us’!

I do not get tired of read it every single day…

XX the XX

June 1, 2010

I have never known this kind of love before.
When I looked at him for the very first time I almost gasped with the effort to contain my feelings; a few months have passed but I still remember how it was, maybe because it just happened again about 10 days ago… and was lovely and perfect as always.
He was for my surprise exactly what I’d thought, perhaps much more!
And I do not know why, but I truly realized those days that we were together, that I love him.
I love him, through over the sense of reason, just like that!
And doesn’t matter if I don’t know him yet that much, or if we have an unusual relationship, (let’s say that we are ‘valentines’ which aren’t necessary together all the time – what do not means we have ‘open relashionship’! NEVER!!! Anyway, it just happen because he lives in London and I’m still here at Milan. Obviously sometimes I do things and he get jealous or sometimes he do things and I get upset or blue, but we are working on it and doing well tks!)
Last week, on the 22th, made four months that we belongs to each other! As they says so far, so good… But sometimes I miss him so much (I know that we are being strong no matter happening but I just needed more certain days…yeah I wish I could hug him more often).
Anyway I do love him so much, I feel what I feel and this is the only thing I know undoubtedly and without deny!
And I know that he loves me too.
Ok might be true that it happened in a such short time and I’ll confess that have to listened those three magic words was the heaven! I love his British accent, his voice…
All this ‘physical distance’ is sucks but maybe this has made our feelings growing even more and become so real (sound it weird I know…) and let’s also say that we both were needing an unusual relationship to heal our hearts and to teach us about what we don’t know yet.
Whatever, his young life outweighs my own will to rationalize anything! I’m totally in love… we had and still having a ‘crush’; we are totally crazy and with some luck for so long still we’ll can being this way.
I’m ok with that, he also and together we are so happy!
Now he is part of my world and since him entrance into my life I have begun to smile lots again (the ones who knows me well can imagine what exactly this means…)
Yes, only he knows how to get my best smile (yeap, he knows how to bring it out easily), how to make me happy with a quick ‘hello my gorgeous girl’ or one simple random photo.
My heart is open to experiencing everything with him, through him and for him.
And I’m so glad that I can risk saying that I’m the happiest girl in the entire world just because of him (even being a quiet sad for other reasons sometimes).
Well what matters is that he inspires me like no one else!
And as I said he brought shine to my life again.
Since I saw him I knew that I might give anything for his happiness…
Because is such adorable the way as him smile at me, and cares for me kindly, I adore the way as him please me, as he ‘melting’ for me…
Is simply perfect and rewarding the way as I can feel him, as I can kiss him and touch him…
I love the way as only him look over me, because seems that only him can see what no one else can catch; and it’s worth any effort to travel over there, any effort to keep me holding for more, for the ‘next time’ and for so long…
To say I love you is mediocre, insignificant at best. There are no words adequate enough or unique for when as we are together that could express well my feelings!
I am what I am because of him: sweet and fresh, fussy and unpredictable, funny and gorgeous…
(at least to his eyes, I guess…)
Thank you babe so much, for everything and more! I cannot wait to see you again!

.

YOU AND ME ALWAYS AND FOREVER

My Sweet ‘London Calling’

May 27, 2010

I will not say many words about how gone my trip to England this time…

I cannot say that was wonderful, because perfection still being much more than that (and in all general meanings!)
I cannot say that I thank them for everything, because words will do not express very well how glad I were…
I cannot say that once again I’d got the best of London and if perhaps I had disliked something a little, it doesn’t even matters, because all those days has gone really ‘good fun’ and I’d definitely enjoyed every single second with you all.

Have stayed at my boyfriend’s place’s (together again) was nothing but awesome and definitely I will do everything to put us happy together sometime soon…
– Because babe, I’m keep holding for more, even when I don’t believe that much in ‘tomorrows’.

Already missing you…and it hurts!

.

 

 

 

 

things I will never learn…

Especial ‘thanks’ to:
~Michael, my new best ‘imaginary’ friend for be a such cool guy addicted for coffee just like me (the best companion ever to go to Starbucks; so if you too go to London just call him!).
~Greg, my lovely boyfriend for loving me the way he do.
My thanks and greetings goes also to ~Warwick and Niki, cheers to our business partnership, and thanks for the opportunity.
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IMG above reblogged…the source this time was WEHEARTIT.COM

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 14, 2010

L.O.V.E for all those ones who know how to love…

G.R.A.C.E for who trust in fate and smile without thinking twice of the ‘unexpected’…

S.T.R.E.N.G.T.H for people like you and me that challenge the ‘impossible’ making it true and know how to enjoy it!

F.A.I.T.H for those ones who live their lifes like there is no tomorrow and believe in ‘second chances’…

M.U.C.H M.O.R.E for everyone that feels the same today and always!!!

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“we are so good together”