Posts Tagged ‘milan’

Back to School: the Monday after

September 24, 2012

I’ve never thought I would feel so tired for being back at the University after 5 years just travelling the world. Brazil, Chile, Antarctic Peninsula, Bolivia, Argentine, Paraguay, Belgium, Holland, Denmark, France, United Kingdom, Croatia, Turkey, Slovenia, Switzerland, Portugal, Spain, Italy and so on…  Today it feels like the tiredness of the world rests on me!

Nonetheless here I am, in Milan, starting my second week of a course that will last for at least the next two years, of course if the world doesn’t end first. And I will not deny that I’m already praying for God to get me through this alive and if possible with some vestige of social life – despite my natural awkwardness among people and rage against society I enjoy going out as weird as it sound.


Jokes apart, during the last week I spent 85% of my time at the Campus having lessons. With the remaining 15%, 10% I was studying at home and basically only 5% of it was dedicated for the basics stuff. Not even the weekend off I’d this time as I was at Bologna following my beloved in his family events… Although exhausted the truth is that I’m very satisfied of having a hectic routine once again! I wouldn’t dare to complaining a single word about anything. But I need to certainly and as soon as possible setting up my schedules and get used to this new life style of mine.

If ready to sacrifice a few things in order to a solid and better future well not so sure yet but no doubts a Master course in Cinema, Television and New Media will do only good to me and to my academic background full based in Social Communication focused in Photography and Multimedia production.

As usual, I’m aiming high and I can’t wait to see where this audacious choice will lead me.

Baby, you have to have guts and a good dose of craziness to do half of the things I do!





The Leap Second

June 30, 2012

To be apart to be together…
That’s such a terrible task but I can wait as you are the only one worth waiting for.
And the unspoken truth is that I know that you know that I know that what we certainly have is something beyond measures, that only happens once in a life time.
It might be L.O.V.E or either something else yet unexplained and that’s one of the 5.972.432.649,11 reasons why for you, my little bird, I would do anything…
Even if it hurts more than I can take or if it costs me more than I can pay…
Because you are worth it all.

P.S: I’m looking forward to our second first kiss! I’ve missed you a lot.

She had no need to ask why he had come.
She knew as certainly as if he had told her that he was here to be where she was.


This is my last train…


please take me home with you.

Hey look at me, I am a grown up!

May 25, 2012

I know, I know there hasn’t been many personal posts here lately and that’s because I no longer feel the urge to constantly make private things public. Everything is different now, I’ve adopting the policy of Preserve the Privacy, which is awesome! Less gossiping, less people trying to put me down, more but much more of ‘I do whatever I want to’ and that’s how I am really happy. Without mention that what Francesco and I have is really special and unique and complicated and fun to both of us that I don’t dare to share much of it with strangers. I guess that’s the true sign of knowing that I love this guy completely: it’s ours and only ours.

However, it’s always the little things though, right?

So I say he has this particular way of surprising me all the time with his manners, sincerity and passion for life.
Of course we don’t have a perfect relationship but we are the best couple ever. He’s my friend, my lover, my accomplice and sometimes my opponent.I couldn’t imagine better fit for my life than him.
He is my man!

Probably this is the wisest, honest and sappy thing I have ever typed into this space and I couldn’t be happier, I couldn’t be more content with my life. Being a blogger is great BUT nothing’s better than being a beloved woman, living in a happy and harmonic house with a caring partner.

Fra, you are the best I ever had! Thanks for dreaming my dreams.

.:comforting love:.

We are very proud of this painting!

Letters to Francesco | part II

May 11, 2012

I really admire you not because you’re someone I really love but as an individual.
I appreciate your entire being and the more I get to know you the more I respect you.
I want you to never doubt about how much I care and how much you’re important to me.
I want to be someone you can go to when you’re mad, disappointed, excited, happy or all the other emotions that are running through your mind.
I want you to always count on me.
I want to be there for you as much as you are there for me, always.
I want to be the one to keep you company yet give you the space you need.
I want to be able to always talk and express all my feelings and concerns to you because I feel you are able to help me and support me through it all. Although there are times where we may not be able to understand each other fully, we’ve to do our best to at least try to understand halfway rather than not at all.
I want us to put ourselves in each other’s shoes to relate and try to see through each other’s point of view of what’s going on.
I want to be able to talk things out before we’ve the chance to assume the worst of one another.
I want the two of us to carry on building not just a relationship but that kind of amazing friendship that’ll keep us very close.
Actually I want us to be a team instead of a couple.
I want to make you happy each and every day by putting a smile upon your face no matter how much this could cost me.
I know where my priorities belong but you are set among the list, just not as my first because my life would not revolve around you. However, since I first met you, you automatically became a part of my life, and I’d like to share that with you, together with all joys and sorrows.
I want to create thousands of remarkable moments with you; especially those special moments when it’s just us two.
And I don’t really care where we go, as long as I get to be with you because “home” is wherever I am with you.
I want to tell you the truth from the very beginning to all times, I’ve given my heart to you with no hesitations because I believe in you and I. And I hope we’ll last because we can conquer every situation as long as we’re able to talk it out and accept each other for who we are.
This time I don’t want a fairy tale love that is always so “lovey dovey”. I am not the princess who need to be saved… I am the troubled girl who makes somehow things happen, and I like being this way. Because along the years I noticed every time something seems so perfect, there must be at least one flaw that separates what we want as opposed to what we are afraid of and this sucks.
With you I want to be brave and fearless with an adventurous type of love where we’ll do as we desire as long as we set our minds upon it. I am in love with our adventure and I am certain that the way we are doing will take us far in life.
I’ll always support you and cheer you on with your ambitions and goals as much as I can just not because you do this to me but because you deserve my attention in whatever you propose yourself to do. I will criticize you if I have to and I expect from you no more and no less than this.
I want us to go hand in hand with a promise; not to leave one another behind.
I want to keep on trusting you with my eyes closed and my heart open and know that you won’t ever let me down because I won’t ever do that to you.
I want to create a bond where we would synchronize our minds and hearts as one. Yet I want the two of us to be as free as birds.
You deserve to be happy and loved and so do I, so let’s help one another.
I want to keep showing you how much I am worth to be with.
And I hope to always be your choice because you will always be mine.
I hope we can both build each other up and learn more about one another each and every day.
And even when I’m not that close to you, always know that I’m always thinking about you and how you’re doing.
Last but not least, if I had to die a thousand times a day I would do it for you!

N is for nest

March 6, 2012

The more I get to know him, the more I convince myself that he is as unique and special as I am.
We match perfectly to the point to look at shit through each other’s eyes.
He really understands me and accept my reasons in which I do (did) certain things like no one ever will…
He knows me plain and raw, taking me in full from top to bottom and its reciprocal.
I admire him in basically everything he does and his presence light up just not my day but my life.
This is all new to me and I guess I’ve never felt this way…
The connection we have is impressive, so impressive that seems we are inside of each other’s mind all the time! We communicate through the silence, (not to mention the IT & ENG used) yeah it is all so wonderful and so magical and powerful.
I have no words to describe my feelings for him…
And those three little words aren’t good enough to express what we feel.

I know it may sound crazy but this guy and I do believe that “the search” is over. And for this reason, about just a month later, we’ve decided to settle down and in a way I’ve never thought would happen to me any time soon! We are already immensely committed, present and future with him by my side looks so bright and so promising! I feel like on the top of the world and I have no shame to say that I only have reasons to thank God for this blessing. Plus I don’t feel any bad of freely admit that my heart is now totally mended after all and that I am completely ready to embrace with my arms wide open this new relationship.
The truth is that this amazing guy truly wants me as much as I already want him to the point of doing everything to keep me by his side. He’s showing me this in so many different ways, day after day with gestures and kind actions.
We talk openly about everything though what fascinates me most is the fact that we both live for the day and because of it every big step we take feels so damn right like 1+1 = 2!
No regrets are allowed, we have no half measures so it can’t go wrong! I feel like I finally found my little bird and I feel it all just not with my body, I can say that I feel it with my entire soul.
He is all the time in my thoughts. He makes me feel secure and completely free and it’s rare; I don’t feel empty or trapped or blue anymore. With him I can be myself without have to hide my flaws, with him I do not have to worry about a thing because he cares a lot about me, he doesn’t measure efforts to provide me everything I need even regarding my staying on the Schengen area!
This time I am indeed the luckiest girl in the world.
And it’s so beautiful and I so love his gaze and the tone of his voice every time he says “Ciao Carol” or “hey honey, how are you today?”
His smile and the sound of his heart beating next to mine… God, it is one of the best feelings in the world!!!
I fully enjoy his company at any time of my day, from waking up to going to sleep right next to him…

We are more than just great together and that is the reason why I’m so excited about everything!
Spring time is coming soon and YESSS, we are going to build our nest!
A nest where we don’t need to fear the outcome of being ourselves as the way we are.
A nest where we’ll be able to find respect and comfort on each other.
A nest where we can freely play jokes and laugh about silly things.
A nest where communication, trust and honesty are going to be the basis of everything else.
And it’s going to be clean and simple and I pray for it to be far better than ever was because we belong to the same “breed of birds”. I am glad I fell in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time and this is a huge sign that the “meant to be” really exist. Now looking back I fully understand and accept that everything happened for a reason. It’s still kinda odd to think that I moved to Italy sometime in 2008 though just now was that I finally found my Italian guy… Anyways, if I had a chance to change a thing in my past I wouldn’t change anything, because everything that was done brought me somehow towards him.
And everybody knows that I’m not a girl “easy to handle” but this guy is completely able to, he truly inspires me to be the best I can be.
Yes, I have the warmest feelings for him!
FUCK YES I have for him the most sincere 01101100011011110111011001100101 in the universe!

anche io!!!

On a morning like this

February 1, 2012

It’s early morning, the snow falls lightly on the outside.
I know I shouldn’t but I kinda miss you like hell.
Everything inside of me screams for you to show up and sweep me up in your arms, to take me over and love me wildly once again.
It has been four days since the last time I saw you!
I’m over here.
You are over there and I can’t wait to see you tonight.
No one else will understand this, but I pray for you to.
I want the “us” on you and I to be always free.
If I walk away, please follow me.

I like you…


Day Two

February 17, 2011

I’m still in London…

And I really wish the circumstances were like a “liddle bit” different. At least I’m not alone and eventually things will be sorted out quickly. I keep repeating to myself “just breathe, nothing happens without a reason…” So let me see what the others will say to me tomorrow and afterwards decide what I’m going to do. At the moment I’m waiting (but not so patiently) to find out what God prepared for me this time. Anyway as the optimists often say “if there is still hope, do not give up, just give a shit”
The hardest thing has being to keep calm, focused on my extra issue without losing faith or treating people badly around me!
But yeah, better winds are to come soon…

I am trying to…I really am

Now I’m ready!

January 25, 2011

Hello there. I’m back! I know, it’s been a while… but my absence wasn’t a choice. From my side I’ve missed you all, although I’m not so sure if you noticed I wasn’t here or if you even missed me at all, but it’s all fine.

Well I don’t know where I should start this post, but I might just put it all together, short and in one…

A new whole year has just started.
So far everything seems to be in the right place this time, even though I do not believe very much in “right & wrong”.
Anyway, many things are still going to change, some others have already changed for the better and a few others remain the same as before, as it should be. I’m still living and working in Milan, the city that I chose to call my “home” at least during the past two years and a bit… Since November last year I’m living for the very first time in an apartment on my own. My flat is about 30m2, and is just beautiful and located in a good area of town, near the centre. And now I finally have everything I need, and that includes even the Internet! Being very honest with myself, it is definitely priceless that I can do whatever I want whenever I decide to!

Regarding my professional life, I am still on the same road. I’m still being a type of freelancer for the Fashion business, and from time to time I also work for a Photographic Studio, which is nice. I have my fabulous agenda with so many contacts and that’s what keeps me safe while I’m here. By the way, I have decided to finally start my “camera collection” and I already have 5 old cameras plus my precious Nikon D5000 (useless information, sorry about that. Wasn’t my intention to make you jealous).
Whatever, I think I’m doing very well and much better than last year, in the same season when everything was so unclear to me… Life is still uncertain, but now I know much more about my potential to “get what I want”. I really believe in the power of words and I’m sure that I was born to be and make people around me happy! I have no limits as I take every obstacle as a lesson. Of course I still have my flaws, I still make people cry, and obviously I am still getting hurt by that, but come on, the little “Me” without defects and flaws is as boring as any other normal girl and honestly I do not want to be like everyone else!
Let me see what else I can say here….
Well, a few months ago I found out that I’m going to be an A-U-N-T-I-E and that’s amazing, I mean, pretty new for me! My sister is pregnant (about 13 weeks now), my family is getting bigger and I’m so proud of them! But still I’m living my life abroad and I will not deny that I feel a little bit guilty about my “eternal absence”… I hope that somehow they understand my decision to pursue happiness this far from home. I really wish I could be there when the new baby is born, although I’ll be there in August for my birthday so not too bad and this time I’m not going back to Brazil alone! I feel very lucky to have my boyfriend going there with me, and perhaps this time I will not feel so lost. Fingers crossed…
Now talking about my dear boyfriend…It is still the same one I had last year and luckily we are becoming stronger than ever, building our solid relationship that has just passed its first anniversary! Who knew I was able to handle that for so long but the more time passes, the more we know what we want for the future. So I am positive that this time I’m not throwing away my youth or simply wasting my time with someone that doesn’t deserve my best, even when we are separated by miles. Everybody knows that he isn’t close to me all the time (physically speaking) but whenever I need him, he is the first to stand and be ready for me. He has been not only the love of my life, but he is also my best friend, and this is perfect because we can count on each other more than 100%. Of course we both have our “periods”, with ups and downs, but we’re doing very well with our relationship, even with these setbacks. And I really hope that this year I will be able to visit him more than I have done in the past.
Yet looking back in time, I venture to say that 2010 was a good year, but very strange in general. 2010 for me was full of ups and downs, victories and defeats, all or nothing but at the same timeI’m grateful, regardless of what happened, for what I have.
Now I am wishing for a wonderful 2011, full of new goals and a bit closer to those I care for the most, family, friends and the love of my life!

Cheers everyone! I’m ready, who’s coming with me?

Yeah, Yeah!

About a Love Story

December 17, 2010

Isn’t easy to keep a love story by distance but it’s not impossible either!
Physically we are about 956km or 516 miles away. Emotionally and mentally just 2 clicks from a Skype conversation or a phone call…
Believe you or not but we have been doing that for the past 11 months, in which we have experienced extremely feelings, going from good to bad though but always getting back to the right road… always getting back to the each other arms. And hopefully neither of those kind of ‘falls’ we’d were deep enough to bring us down and make us want to quit of our love.
Actually, not only speaking for myself, we both agreed that it made us even more stronger than we had ever thought we was or what our feelings for each other could be about.
Exactly now we’re apart, but I’m going to go to see him soon again and whenever I think of him I try to imagine him as words in my head: clever, charming, a bit stubborn, extremely sexy, witty…
Or as dreams that coming during my nights and days, without control, gracefully and unforgettable…
While we are apart I try to somehow form a perfect memory of him, of ‘us’ as pictures which remained in my mind forever. I do that in the way that comes to me most naturally – using words. And that is the reason why I am filling on this white and boring (virtual) piece of paper…
I have missing him so much theses days!
I miss the way he used to look at me in the morning, the way he used to hug me tight every time I dared to put my head on his chest, the way he smiled at me making me smiling back at time… I miss his good smell, his incredible voice and his adorable blue eyes… The way how he used to staring on me when only the comfort silence was what remained between us. Sometimes his gaze were full of wonder and others full of silly doubts and certain wishes that also I was having. We are so alike and I might to confess that it scares me and surprise me at the same!
When I keep myself looking back at the past, I stay proud in say that honestly do not regret about anything what I done in my life; and have him feeling safe now to diving inside my world completely is one of the best things that I will never forget from 2010. We are just like wine, we are getting better and better with the time.
We know that the time are passing, and we won’t to lose a chance to look forward. Life must to go on, no matter happens just with what make us happy and I definitely cannot wait for what 2011 will bring to us!
I’m so fortunate and I do recognize this! We will have the possibility to be watching the New Year’s Eve together in London; I will be where I supposed to be most of time, I will be at his arms and I think I should be mandatorily grateful every single morning for have met him! Because chances of found without even being looking for one so good guy as him and get it as my boyfriend – one in a billion!
I will not deny that sometimes I cry without a reason, that sometimes both of us wished just have one second together to punch each other face… That the lack of his presence in my days is painful or that I’m holding so bad for the future, for our future close together.
We have no more secrets and we’re trying hard to not get or let the other hurt.
He opened my eyes to see that our relationship is built not on the sand, not at the daily routine or into just sex and promises that were made to being broken, but instead of, it is building on honest and clear conversations, strong feelings, whishes and in one insane and unsatisfied will of more and more!
Yes, I love him as I have never thought I could love somebody like this before.
We are unique and I want to be this way for a long long time yet.
Yes, I want him to want us to last forever!


No doubt, one of my favourite pictures of ‘us’!

I do not get tired of read it every single day…

La Dolce Vita

September 25, 2010

Sweet you and I...

Insieme a te tutto sembra molto piu bello…
Mi manchi cosi tanto che a volte vorei proprio tirarti fuori dei miei sogni per riabbracciarci davvero.


July 28, 2010

‘Love’ was when you pass by me accidentally
Was when the distance was measured by a phone calls and just a few minutes away.
You grabbed a sense of my smile, my total attention and much more…
But between ‘us’ there is nothing that could last for more than just nights.

I wished I could have shown you only the real ‘me’, the normal girl
So I can’t…
Now, we are not so ‘right’, but even not so that ‘wrong’.
You’re careful with yourself when you say “I won’t to surrender by ilusion, I don’t know what to do”…
And me either but just let’s live for a day, like there is no ‘tomorrow’!

We’re different, yet the same.
Now I need to effort every time that I cannot no longer see you to see
When we cannot just feel to feel
The power of you touching me, kissing me, hugging me, then leaving me…I will never forget.
Now I’m alone tonight I don’t know where you are.
But that’s okay, because soon I will find a way to bring you back to me once again,
As always pretending that could be forever even knowing that it might be the last time.


super quero!


05th of July was a day…

July 5, 2010

Just a phrase about the concert:


great location (very near by my place – so convenient)
nice people
-and they were perfect playing live (despite of the long delay to start…)

Basic Space‘, ‘Stars has made me cry (ok, I’m joking…)! Well, it was just another big concert I had the opportunity to check while I’m living here in Milan.


'Night Time' moment...


ps: perhaps I’ll go to see them again in London…
and with my boyfriend this time (sighs)

An letter to my ex

April 2, 2010

Everybody knows that since Vitor Shalom broke up with me almost one year ago, I never saw him again even living at the same city. Well, I didn’t had reasons to look for him because I always knew that OVER is over, hurting or not…
I cut him definitely from my life so no emails, no phone calls, no network profiles, nothing! Was hard at the begining but I did it. I choose for doesn’t  know anything else about his life.  I didn’t had reasons to keep it after everything that happened.
But when I knew by chance that he was going back to Brazil I thought ‘well maybe is time to do one thing, maybe is time to surprise’. So I went there, on the same flat that we used to live on the past, just to give one letter and to see his face for the last time on my life. From now (02th of April 2010), I have no longer the risk to find him on the streets of my city anymore, yes Milano now is all mine.

Follow bellow my lastest letter for him:

To the boys who once has broken my heart:

It took me so long till I got over them all, perhaps some were harder than others but it definitely ended for everyone.
One of you started dating a new girl to replace me when I still were there though, needing you, and only I know how tougher it was… The time I could have spent having fun, laughing with friends or meeting new people was wasted on thoughts of you. Could you tell yourself why did you do that? Anyway, for me it doesn’t matter anymore.
One of you treated me as shit, fooled me for years and I just don’t understand how could I be so blind… if it wasn’t me the one who you wanted to spend your whole life forever…
You all taught me the reasons why half of the most beautiful songs are about broken hearts and failed romances.
You all taught me the reason why I should stay away from boys who seemed a bit smooth, who always seemed to have a line or witty repertoire that at once flattered and humored.
You taught me to considerer above the fact that I don’t love you anymore that maybe I could never have done that even before
I am moving on grateful for everything I learned because now I don’t need you anymore, not even on my thoughts so just be happy for me, be happy for you too.
I wish someday someone else can do with you what you did to me and other girls… let’s see if you will go through and get so far as I have done.
You taught me how to be the girl I am today.
Thank you so much for making me stronger!
Met vriendelijke groet,
Carol Vallu


Yeap, now that's me!

‘Always for you’

March 4, 2010

2h46a.m and I just got home…

I have one indescribable feeling inside of me right now and that’s wonderful! Tonight I went on the “THE ALBUM LEAF” concert at Circolo Arci Magnolia – one place to get back there more times (thought). Ambient super underground with a such nice acoustic for presentations / shows and other good point: drinks on the bar aren’t expensive at all! Genial!

About the concert…wow the concert…I have no words to discribe the atmospheric, the sound, even the people there inside hmmm really was everything (almost) perfect. I had fun and enjoyed from the begining till the end! They played for aproximately for 2hours and just made an short break for 5min, nothing more nothing less than that! I were in good company – tks Marcelo for being there with me. But I will confess that I was thinking lots about someone else very special  I got my mind set all the time on my ‘boyfriend’ and definitely I would loved to have had shared this fantastic night with him… #sighs

No doubts one of the great moments was when they played “ALWAYS FOR YOU”! First of all because this song is one of my favorites and also because they played it with so energy was so powerful watch the live performace. The fans could felt the ‘mood’ and yes we all being singing, jumping, recording, making pictures during all the time – truely I  have been there present more than 100%!


Was fantastic!



…”all the memories will never fade
For years and years
In my heart you’ll stay”…

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 14, 2010

L.O.V.E for all those ones who know how to love…

G.R.A.C.E for who trust in fate and smile without thinking twice of the ‘unexpected’…

S.T.R.E.N.G.T.H for people like you and me that challenge the ‘impossible’ making it true and know how to enjoy it!

F.A.I.T.H for those ones who live their lifes like there is no tomorrow and believe in ‘second chances’…

M.U.C.H M.O.R.E for everyone that feels the same today and always!!!


“we are so good together”