Posts Tagged ‘miss you’

Letters to him | part VI

December 17, 2010

I will tell you a secret…

I want to stop feeling so alone all the time.
I want to be able to hold your hand every time I want to.
I want to be able to kiss you hello and goodbye, every single day.
I want to lie in my bed with you and listen to everything you have to say.
I want to have you whispering ‘night night my darling, sleep well. I love you’ close to my ears and neck, night after night for as long as we exist.
I want you to put me in bed, I want to fall asleep in peace, with my head in your chest…
I want you to cuddle with me in the winter to make me feel warm and safe.
I want to be able to tell you everything and more.
I want you to tell me everything too and all the time.
I want you to be my best friend.
I want to be your last girlfriend…
And I want us to keep doing well, chasing infinity and beyond.
I want to build castles of dreams with you.
I want to spend more time with you and I want that you want that too.
I want to make you feel special just as you do this to me.
I just need you ‘in quantity’.
I just need to know you want this too.
And as usual I still have so many things to say and no idea how to say them, and the only thing I know is that I love you so…


day and night…

I know but sometimes it’s hard to believe…

‘Bed of lies’

September 26, 2010

I’m a liar!
And that’s the only truth I can admit…
I lie when I’m happy,
I lie when I’m sad…
I lie for all those ones I love,
And especially for all those others who I suppose I hate.
I lie about feelings, emotions, about my real physical and mental conditions.
I lie about expectations, future plans,
I lie about everything and much more!
And the worst is that I believe in all those stories I’m telling you now…
I’m not good enough to accept that I was wrong, even though I wasn’t!
I’m not good enough to say “I’m trully sorry” by heart.
Neither to face the reality when it comes up…
I’m a unconditional liar and too stubborn to step back and see all that shit I’ve done and I’m aware of.
I do not believe in ‘good intentions’ even though I should do that!
I always think that everybody has something to hide,
Nothing never changes, it’s the same all the time…
I’m tired but I do not just proceed at the wrong way as I go further, because I change facts,
I usually manipulate everything, making my own story and at the end I want that people still trusting on me…
I’m simply disgusting because I cheat on everyone.
And at the end of the day I don’t want to feel myself empty, dirty, alone, then I cheat on me too!
That really sucks…
But I cannot change it,
I cannot change myself because I don’t want to or perhaps because I barely see something good at me.
I’m so sorry for being already so damageable…
Now, I’m not lying!

Nao é facil ter um oceano de distancia e tantos outros problemas separando a gente justo agora. I miss you lots! <5

PS: If I were you, I do not believe 100% on things you read here!

La Dolce Vita

September 25, 2010

Sweet you and I...

Insieme a te tutto sembra molto piu bello…
Mi manchi cosi tanto che a volte vorei proprio tirarti fuori dei miei sogni per riabbracciarci davvero.


September 23, 2010

“Love? We think about it, sing about it, dream about it, and lose sleep worrying about it. When we don’t have it, we search for it; when we discover it, we don’t know what to do with it; when we have it, we fear losing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But we can’t predict which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, impossible to live without.”


Trying to find an answer...

Today is already Tomorrow…

July 6, 2010

Yesterday is gone…
Tomorrow never comes…
I’m tired.
But I’m just splited fifty-fifty, I cannot move myself and I do not know what to do without you here…
I’ve thought about you during all day, I miss you tonight.
I want to live a love, I want to live a dream…
I’m dreaming about it… but I want to do that always and with you close to me!
(It’s almost 5h00 and a lot of bullshit start to come out… sorry but my txt was true)




Note: This img has been reblogged

It’s all right…

June 19, 2010

It might not be the right time,
I might not be the right one,
But there’s something about us I want to say,
Cause there’s something between us anyway.
You might not be the right one,
And it might not be the right time,
But there’s something about us that I’ve got to let it go,
I’d needed you more than anything in my life,
I’d wanted you more than anything in my life,
I’d missing you more than anyone in my life,
But not anymore.
That was some kind of secret I won’t to share with you…
Please don’t think twice, it’s all right!



*this text was originaly a song but
I’ve changed it a little bit to publish here*

XX the XX

June 1, 2010

I have never known this kind of love before.
When I looked at him for the very first time I almost gasped with the effort to contain my feelings; a few months have passed but I still remember how it was, maybe because it just happened again about 10 days ago… and was lovely and perfect as always.
He was for my surprise exactly what I’d thought, perhaps much more!
And I do not know why, but I truly realized those days that we were together, that I love him.
I love him, through over the sense of reason, just like that!
And doesn’t matter if I don’t know him yet that much, or if we have an unusual relationship, (let’s say that we are ‘valentines’ which aren’t necessary together all the time – what do not means we have ‘open relashionship’! NEVER!!! Anyway, it just happen because he lives in London and I’m still here at Milan. Obviously sometimes I do things and he get jealous or sometimes he do things and I get upset or blue, but we are working on it and doing well tks!)
Last week, on the 22th, made four months that we belongs to each other! As they says so far, so good… But sometimes I miss him so much (I know that we are being strong no matter happening but I just needed more certain days…yeah I wish I could hug him more often).
Anyway I do love him so much, I feel what I feel and this is the only thing I know undoubtedly and without deny!
And I know that he loves me too.
Ok might be true that it happened in a such short time and I’ll confess that have to listened those three magic words was the heaven! I love his British accent, his voice…
All this ‘physical distance’ is sucks but maybe this has made our feelings growing even more and become so real (sound it weird I know…) and let’s also say that we both were needing an unusual relationship to heal our hearts and to teach us about what we don’t know yet.
Whatever, his young life outweighs my own will to rationalize anything! I’m totally in love… we had and still having a ‘crush’; we are totally crazy and with some luck for so long still we’ll can being this way.
I’m ok with that, he also and together we are so happy!
Now he is part of my world and since him entrance into my life I have begun to smile lots again (the ones who knows me well can imagine what exactly this means…)
Yes, only he knows how to get my best smile (yeap, he knows how to bring it out easily), how to make me happy with a quick ‘hello my gorgeous girl’ or one simple random photo.
My heart is open to experiencing everything with him, through him and for him.
And I’m so glad that I can risk saying that I’m the happiest girl in the entire world just because of him (even being a quiet sad for other reasons sometimes).
Well what matters is that he inspires me like no one else!
And as I said he brought shine to my life again.
Since I saw him I knew that I might give anything for his happiness…
Because is such adorable the way as him smile at me, and cares for me kindly, I adore the way as him please me, as he ‘melting’ for me…
Is simply perfect and rewarding the way as I can feel him, as I can kiss him and touch him…
I love the way as only him look over me, because seems that only him can see what no one else can catch; and it’s worth any effort to travel over there, any effort to keep me holding for more, for the ‘next time’ and for so long…
To say I love you is mediocre, insignificant at best. There are no words adequate enough or unique for when as we are together that could express well my feelings!
I am what I am because of him: sweet and fresh, fussy and unpredictable, funny and gorgeous…
(at least to his eyes, I guess…)
Thank you babe so much, for everything and more! I cannot wait to see you again!



My Sweet ‘London Calling’

May 27, 2010

I will not say many words about how gone my trip to England this time…

I cannot say that was wonderful, because perfection still being much more than that (and in all general meanings!)
I cannot say that I thank them for everything, because words will do not express very well how glad I were…
I cannot say that once again I’d got the best of London and if perhaps I had disliked something a little, it doesn’t even matters, because all those days has gone really ‘good fun’ and I’d definitely enjoyed every single second with you all.

Have stayed at my boyfriend’s place’s (together again) was nothing but awesome and definitely I will do everything to put us happy together sometime soon…
– Because babe, I’m keep holding for more, even when I don’t believe that much in ‘tomorrows’.

Already missing you…and it hurts!






things I will never learn…

Especial ‘thanks’ to:
~Michael, my new best ‘imaginary’ friend for be a such cool guy addicted for coffee just like me (the best companion ever to go to Starbucks; so if you too go to London just call him!).
~Greg, my lovely boyfriend for loving me the way he do.
My thanks and greetings goes also to ~Warwick and Niki, cheers to our business partnership, and thanks for the opportunity.
IMG above reblogged…the source this time was WEHEARTIT.COM

Practice makes perfect!

April 15, 2010

Manage this equation isn’t so easy as looks like at the first sight and requires some practice…
To understand this formula we are doing intensive classes everyday
The important here is both keeping the constant efforts to learn more and more
We are doing very well, making progress little by little
What means that soon we will be able to solve this MATHEMATICAL PROBLEM!

1º ⇔

II we apart U weird < we together (tight)
II perfect U countdown = we together (balanced)
P(A) we get together # boring > weird + perfect (exceeded but not too much*)


It's all about Math!


2º I found the percentage for the time we spent together since the frist time till the actual day (reference used = 04 months or just 16 weeks, as you prefer): ±


sometimes it isn't as we would like to was...

*Note: I’m up all night now is about 4h50a.m and pretty soon I will need to really start my day, waking up (if I get sleep), go to work, etc…Well as the image above are saying: “sometimes it isn’t as we would like to was…” Really, that I would like to have a normal night and sleep as everyone else but I just cannot put me in my bed!!! And I  also would love to have my boyfriend close to me but unfortunately we have different plans for our lifes, for ours careers. We love each other (fact) but we also do love ourselves!  Whatever, this ‘outbreak’ for Math was totally inspired by the site Indexed and for my fixation in numbers and for have datas about everything ok, it maybe was completely useless I know… But sometimes I’m just so that GEEK [nerd] that I cannot control and I LOVE BEING THIS WAY!!!

Giving and taking: lesson and learning…

January 31, 2010

Up’s and Down’s fazem parte da minha única rotina aceitável… por isso que hoje eu já sorri por dentro e também já chorei de alegria e saudade. Sometimes I do things with no apparent reason! É, eu tenho encanto e gosto por coisas inexplicáveis. Por exemplo: hoje eu comprei outra marca de cigarros só mesmo pra me sentir um pouco mais perto de quem eu gosto, e eu também já ouvi músicas que me fizeram lembrar de muitas coisas… Eu sou definitivamente estranha demais e eu tenho também necessidades demais!

Eu estou encantada pelo ‘novo’ e eu tenho pensado nele a todo instante! (Não deveria eu sei, mas ao mesmo tempo eu não consigo e nem quero parar). Sabe eu não quero estar muito a frente, mas eu também não vou conseguir viver com os meus pés grudados no chão o tempo inteiro…

#Dilema: eu estou entre o me apaixonar perdidamente e o fingir que nada existe. Mas eu não consigo mentir, eu não gosto de disfarçar… e eu confesso que dessa vez eu estou longe demais pra negar o inevitável. Eu sei que também já é too late para negar isso; pois eu já pulei sem pára-quedas, eu me entreguei e não sinto ou tenho mais medo de cair. Now I’m a bird and I know how to fly!

Hoje cheguei a conclusão de que:

“Life is a beautiful mess, love is a mental disorder and I’m just another crazy on this wonderful world”.

Eu tenho amado viver essa nossa doce loucura e a cada dia que passa eu tenho ainda mais curiosidade em saber até onde isso vai, eu quero ver até onde conseguiremos chegar… Eu quero viver mais do que um final de semana, eu quero estar com ele quase que 24/7 e talvez muito mais, mas tudo isso sem sufocar (espaço de vez em quando faz muito bem também e todo mundo precisa!). Eu sei que o amanhã não existe, que o depois é longe demais, por isso eu estou vivendo o agora intensamente, definitly I’m living my life like there’s no tomorrow and I have no regrets for that!

Engraçado, às vezes eu até acho que perfeição existe em algum lugar…nem que  seja somente mesmo quando estamos perto um do outro, nem que seja só mesmo aqui dentro do meu mundo de ilusões. Eu não queria ter que esperar, juro queria ele aqui, agora! Hoje eu estou imersa numa saudade sem limites; saudade essa que não mata, mas que incomoda bastante. Hoje eu estou me afogando em boas e deliciosas lembranças, rodeada de músicas e fotos, mas longe dele e isso dói um pouco…(não deveria).

Eu tenho aprendido bastante, eu tenho descoberto um mundo ‘novo’ de novo, um pouco do avesso por conta da nossa pequena distância, mas muito interessante e fascinante, sem dúvidas ou exageros o “mundo dele” me encanta! Quero tanto estar certa dessa vez… porque eu já estava cansada de estar sozinha e eu estou pronta de novo, talvez ainda um pouco ‘inacabada’, mas eu acho que eu nunca vou ser mesmo perfeita então eu estou tranqüila. Porque no fundo eu sei que não existe certo e errado, mas sim o que a gente faz e o que se deixa de fazer, essa é a razão de todos os meus riscos com ele! Nenhuma escolha até agora foi errada, e isso é maravilhoso!

Oh, my Gosh, is so beautiful when the ‘my’ boy smiles and I’ll wait a thousand years if necessary just to see him smiling again… Up and down, over and over, out and in, here and there – sometimes goodbye is not the end is just another chance.

Smiling without no reason…

December 23, 2009


Today I decided just walking around before come back to home and when I saw this bike on the street something has changed.
I could not resist and I took this picture.
I was feeling great and now I’m feeling even better!
I’m smiling without no reason (always and again).
I feel like I could float.
I miss you (…)  just for one day: TODAY
And it was just because that picture made me to reminds you…

É estranho...ter saudades do que eu nunca cheguei a ter.

[12-22-09 | 19h27]


note: I recomend this song to ‘feel’ the mood:

AIR / All I need

Digital Love…

October 26, 2009

[I never knew what is “love” until you come to my life…Now I know less!] hahahaha

I keep thinking of how we first met and about the way you looked at me for the first time.
Yeah, I can remember how and where, was so unsual and funny…
Do you remember babe our “first-first” kiss? Do you remember the faces of people around…
I remember that! Was just for fun and so unexpected. At least was just for an instant but always meant so much, already seams so fresh this memory inside me…
And after everything that happens in our lives (I met new people, you too…) we remained friends like before.
Maybe destiny or for some other reason, I dont know…the time gave us more than expected, we were “together” lately for a while and was great kiss you for real ahhahah
So next time I´ll do it again and again and again…

I miss you babe!




he is the best ever!


October 4, 2009

Ontem me perguntaram como eu estava. E a minha resposta foi “indo”; indo não sei bem pra onde…mas eu estou.
Eu me sinto um pouco perdida, mas mesmo assim, não consigo ficar parada.
Eu já fiz mil coisas hoje e na verdade eu ainda não fiz nada…
Eu tô com medo!
Depois de tantos e tantos nãos eu tô com medo do meu primeiro e mais pesado sim.
Eu parei de respirar desde ontem e até agora eu não voltei a respirar de novo.
Meu coração está batendo acelerado, mas eu sinto que tudo aqui dentro meio que congelou sabe, e eu sinto um puta friozinho na barriga.
Eu sinto que eu estou blocada sem poder sair do lugar, presa por um peso enorme, que meu mundo se esqueceu de voltar a girar e que perdeu um pouco do rumo no espaço…
Eu já não durmo bem, mas ontem, especialmente ontem, eu tive muito mais dificuldades em fazer isso.
Eu já estou há quase 2dias sem pregar direito os olhos, eu me sinto exausta mas ainda com pick porque tem uma coisa que não sai da minha cabeça e eu ainda não consegui decidir se realmente seria bom ou ruim (…)
Eu não costumo morrer de véspera, mas eu também não costumo subestimar meus feelings.
Eu tô em cima do muro e eu ainda não sei pra que lado eu vou me jogar.
Eu não sei onde eu vou cair… eu preciso de mais tempo!
Eu sei que eu já tive problemas piores, que eu já tive preocupações maiores e eu queria continuar acreditando que a minha casca está mais grossa agora pra enfrentar mais esse desafio, mas o que complica é pensar que não é só a minha vida que pode mudar e é justamente isso é tem me deixado louca… eu já cansei de pensar e repensar sobre o “efeito borboleta”, sobre “destino” e eu não consigo ver um sentido nisso tudo, em nada!
Sinto que tem alguma coisa que, de alguma maneira, não está certa.
Eu quero coragem de ir buscar as respostas que eu ainda não tenho, porque de perguntas eu tô cheia, lotada como sempre. Mas eu ainda não tive a calma e a paciência necessária pra sequer parar de surtar e pensar no assunto…
Eu não quero nem imaginar como seria se tudo passasse a ser diferente.
E isso é estranho, mais estranho que o dia de hoje.


waiting for...

waiting for...


September 17, 2009

Well my day was perfect, amazing really!
I have had a lot of good surprises today and I feel that is only the begining …
“If I can imagine so I can easily realize!” This is my new quote and I believe on this truely.

I wished have you here babe to share with you all my happiness!
But its ok, I need to understand…that´s complicated now, I made my choice to come back to Milan and I feel no regrets for this!
I´m a very luck person, definitely! And day by day I have more proud of myself.


Babe, next time just holding me tight  (L)

FRAGILE: now I'm on my own