Posts Tagged ‘plans’

Cutting the bullshit out

December 7, 2011

     A friend of a good friend recently shared her vision of commitment with the following statement: “the committed should be committed.” Indeed and as a matter of fact, we all have got to take care of our individual life. We’ve got to know long term who we really want as a life companion, lover, best friend, soul and house mate… And finally we’ve got to know how we want to be treated, we’ve to have the control of our own life to then find and/or keep around that special person we care about and that in our opinion just fit in a box regardless of what the others say.

         It took me ages to realise what was wrong but one thing is sure, nobody needs to be 100% attached to someone else to be happy. It’s masochism to suffering or causing pain by this insane idea of happiness is a 24/7 love-attention-care. It’s seriously wrong! So once again I’m enjoying and loving myself at first and this is not a sign of selfishness. It’s a strong sign of self-improvement and maturity instead. Above of all I guess it is me backing to my old-self.  Amen!

      Right now I risk to say I find myself into some kind of “healthy devotion relationship” instead of a “needy sticky one”.  Yes I’m still in a relationship, the same one I’ve been in since the beginning of 2010. People might be wondering and even asking around if G.N.B. and I had split up. Nice try but NO! WE DID NOT SPLIT UP! We’re still as a couple, being boyfriend and girlfriend, and of course into an exclusive relationship! The only thing that’s changed is the fact that now we are living our lives without being so paranoid or jealous with each other. So yes, we go out with other people still we are faithful to each other. We don’t speak everyday still we keep sharing our news regularly. So for the record we are fine, TOGETHER and looking forward to our future plans to become true.

        And despite the distance and sporadic pain in the ass this long distance relationship is I stand where I say: be committed is one of the best things in the world if we are committed to ourselves in first place because nobody can really love someone who doesn’t love yourself starting from that. So in the end I learnt that it is totally fine to sometimes take a step back, slow down a bit and miss the other person, realise what’s wrong and work to fix it. It allow us to make the best decisions for the future. And to me G.N.B. is still perfectly fitting in a box!

Waiting sometimes is necessary. I kinda miss you.

…though nothing best than dedicate myself to being the person I’ve always wanted to be, before I forget who I was.

Day Eighteen

March 6, 2011

Firstly I have no words to express how glad I’m for being here. More than never I’m convinced that God moves in a mysterious way… Definitely I was really needing to have a break, change the scenary you know, and staying in Malmesbury since last Wednesday evening till tonight was very refreshing! Of course that I haven’t ignored completely of all those things that I still have to solve in Italy but was possible to slow down a bit with everything.
So today was our last day in the countryside before we go back to London and during my stay with boyfriend’s parents I’ve made sure that I was offering the best of me and probably also getting the best of them!
I have been talking a lot with Tricia (boyfriend’s mother – yes, most of the time we are close to each other); today his brother and sister was more comfortable with my presence which means that we could also chat and laught a lot, and we all are planning to do something together during the summer, which sounds very exciting! Go to the chalet in Rosswald, the summer music festival in Nyon, Malmesbury again and so many other options…
Unfortunately the weather wasn’t so good during the whole day was very windy, cloudy and grey so after the lunch I  just helped them with a few things in the house.
The way back on the motorway was good and we didn’t take too long on our return. Loud and good music inside the car, another good surprise! Then just after our arrival we went downstairs for dinner and of course some wine!
I still have to wait about 18 hours from now before my boyfriend back to town but that’s perfectly fine because after these 3 and a half incredible days spent with his family I have no doubt about where I want to be. Yes, I already pressume where my future will lead me in a couple of years ahead and I’m not afraid of it, not at all, not anymore.
So thanks “dear Universe” for having shown me the right way to go.

Day twelve

February 28, 2011

It’s the end of Sunday night, 22h30 local time (UK). A new week is about to start and I’m pretty tired and already sleepy. Some hope is in my soul at the moment.. I’m quite excited looking forward to the future! Future includes boyfriend, new master course, London, maybe New York City in about three years or so… Lots of A and B plans, which is good.
Just a random comment, I cannot remember having so many glasses of good wine and gin in my life before…and to be honest I haven’t decided yet if it’s good or not.
Anyway the weather changes here as the wind blows and the same happens with my mood most of the time… But I think he is getting used to me and we have been doing very well “living together”.
Night night tomorrow a new day is coming.