Posts Tagged ‘thank you’

Hello Alone!

October 11, 2010

It’s been a bit and I’m sorry for my absence… I missed you too! Well actually I’ve missed lots of things but that’s not an excuse for me being so careless with people I love.
I’m sorry not just about this but also about of my paranoia and all these days wasted on useless thoughts and stupid actions! I should already know that instead of keep things to myself what I need to do is release them, but for some reason seems that I just cannot do this as everybody does and that’s not healthy and it’s so annoying…
Honestly I wish I could learn quickly how to deal better with my feelings. But I suppose I need to be more patient knowing up front that it will be a long way, just in case if you’re wonder.
Believe me when I say that more than everyone else I wish I could break through this once for all and just be able to be happy without have to own a reason for. But this is one of my faults that may take more of my attention to be ‘fixed’… There are times that I hate the fact I’m always ‘thinking’ and I hate the way how my thoughts turns suddenly into worries and tears and how I get hurt and end up hurting too and start to feel myself so lost!
Anyway, now is already Monday morning something about 05h00 and I’m feeling a little better now and as I mainly believe, good things were made to be shared I’ve decided to make public one of the messages I got yesterday from a good friend. So I do expect that after all this I can have helped you as well as she did with me.

By the way, thank you so much my dear Alie, not just for being my good friend but also for your lovely words… Never forget how amazing you are!

10 October, at 16h06 she wrote to me:
It made a lot of sense, actually.
I understand what you’re saying, because I do a lot of the same. It can get really painful. And once one thing starts, everything just piles up after it. You interpret something one way, and then from there on out you keep interpretting stuff that way and pretty soon everything is hurting and you’ve convinced yourself that you’re going to get hurt. And it’s scary, because we love so unconditionally that it would be entirely possible for us to get hurt… E.g: I’ll just sit and I listen to music and I listen to everything and it all reminds me of him, and then I’ll worry, and I’ll worry more, and I will have worried so much that by the time we actually DO get to talk, I’ve come up with all these scenarios in my head of how I’m not good enough and how it’s going to end painfully, and then I waste what could have been a nice conversation being paranoid and sad. And I hate it, but it’s unavoidable sometimes.
Like you said, sometimes it’s impossible not to feel that way! Then there are those conversations where you know everything is fine and you feel sorry for ever feeling sad or worrying, but it always comes back when you’re alone again at night. And then you start to feel like you’re the one that cares more. It’s not that they care less, it’s just that you feel that it’s literally all you’re doing and thinking about, and then everything else is passing you by, but not for them. But I think it’s all mental stuff.
Well, I don’t know if any of this helps, but we seem to have some similar thoughts and I thought that maybe you think this way sometimes too and maybe it’s nice to know that you don’t have to be alone in it and that it’s rough but you’ll always have somebody to talk to about it. And yeah, like you said, it’s hard for the risk of getting hurt, but it’s something that has to be accepted for the risk of love. Especially distance love. Aaah distance...
But I can definitely understand why you’re feeling the way you do, though. But stuff will get better, I know it will. And you’re really strong.
And I’m always here to listen.
:]
xoxo ♥

.

 

Things I promised myself never to forget...

 

Let’s meet them | Explicando a Diferença:

June 30, 2010

Nerds: (1) São pessoas muito inteligentes, de raciocínio rápido, que se dedicam em tempo integral e ilimitado a suprir sua incontrolável ânsia por conhecimento. (2) Costumam ser ambiciosos, porem não pedem o controle da situação, já que, possuem consciência das suas capacidades para levar-los ao ponto onde pretendem chegar. (3) Possuem um fascínio por números e dados em geral alem de terem as pazes feitas com o dinheiro. (4) Não se preocupam muito com a vida social e não aceitam a idéia de viver desconectado por muito tempo.

(I) Only a Nerd would dedicate their full time on the internet and on libraries instead of hanging out as everybody does. (II) A person who gains pleasure from amassing large quantities of knowledge about subjects often too detailed or complicated for most other people to be bothered with. (III) A stereotypical label used to describe a person that is socially ‘inadequate’. (IV) One whose IQ exceeds his weight. An individual persecuted for his superior skills or intellect, most often by people who fear and envy him. (V) An ‘individual’, i.e. a person who does not conform to society’s beliefs that all people should follow trends and do what their peers do. (VI) A ‘socially’ person on their own way who has learned technical skills due to the spare time they enjoy from being generally neglected. Their technical knowledge leads to neglect certain norms even further, leading to more development of their technical skills, what means more neglects, etc. This vicious cycle drives them even more into social oblivion. (VII) Unlike Geeks, who are easily identified, Nerds can only be found out when casual conversation reaches a subject that they like ‘nerding’.

–> Nerds and Geeks are pretty much people who have a real understanding for a certain topic (films, music, tech, cars…). It’s usually that they are totally obsessed about the topic, or it’s just something they think a lot on. Usually are individuals who are keenly interested in and good at mathematics, science, and technology, and applies mathematical and scientific principles to everyday occurrences, while at the same time being loveable and very personable.

Geeks: (1) Obsecados por tecnologia. (2) São um parente próximo dos Nerds já que não concebem tão bem a idéia de viver longe do mundo virtual. (3) Excelentes stalkers e igualmente inteligentes.

–> Ao contrário dos Nerds, os Geeks possuem uma vida social quase normal, já que curtem ‘festas’ e vivem rodeados de pessoas o tempo inteiro que os bajulam.

(I) Is the group of people who will most likely make a life changing invention that will radically change the world (think Bill Gates, but obviously on a smaller scale *giggles*).  (II) A person who is intensely interested by tech. (III) Apparently they look like the normal people and have no claim to civilization except for being the hard labor to build their own perfect world. Geeks actually do the thinking that they are the new Nerds. Geeks exist within the new fabric of society, often choosing to ‘geek it up’ in the company of fellow Geeks. It is for this reason they are feared the most. (IV) An outwardly normal person who has taken the time to learn technical skills. Geeks have as normal a social life as anyone, and usually the only way to tell if someone is a geek is if they inform you of their skills. (V) Only Geeks and Nerds would waste their time on the internet having fun.

–> Often highly intelligent but socially annoying because of their obsession with a given subject, usually computers. Geeks often carries a positive connotation, the term isn’t being consider an insulting (Geeks doesn’t have the same problems that the Nerds haves).

Dweeb: (1) Também pertence à família dos Nerds, mas ao contrário dos Geeks, os Dweebs não possuem vida social alguma! (2) São de certa forma alienados e sem ambição alguma. Acreditam que sua inteligência é um dom, ou seja, nem mesmo estudam… (3) Raramente sem vêem envolvidos em relacionamentos e não é de se esperar que esses cheguem muito longe na vida, já que partilham da filosofia do menor esforço possível. (4) Costumam ser estranhos não só mentalmente, mas fisicamente falando idem. (5) Suas convicções não condizem com seu comportamento.

(I) An awkward, ineffectual person to being considers Nerds; specifically connotes physical inadequacy. (II) An unattractive, insignificant, or inept person. (III) A person who acts rather ‘obscure’ or has odd tendencies. (IV) People who shit around and act complete fools. (V) Often mistaken for Nerds, who aspire to become Geeks, but yet lack lots of skills do it, what end up giving to the real Nerds a bad name due to poor social skills coming from the Dweebs. (VI) Dweeb just like Nerds and Geeks is someone who spends a lot of time and energy in a certain area, not necessarily computers, math, art or technology…but differently they do it because they are quite alienated, as they do not have many abilities and tend to err quite up before to get the goal. (VII) Someone who acts extremely immature either because they seek attention to have fun, or because they don’t care what others think of them. (VIII) Someone who is generally annoying and usually socially awkward, unlike Nerds or Geeks they tend to be lazy.

Dorks: (1) Sonham em ser alguma coisa na vida, mas não são inteligentes e não possuem nenhuma capacidade para criar nada sozinho. (2) São o que a sociedade de consumo fazem deles, e não costumam ter por isso uma identidade própria. (3) Muito freqüentemente tem problemas grandes de aceitação em grupos e exageram em tudo para se encaixar. Viram motivo de piadas, obvio. Não por falta de pratica, mas por total incompetência não possuem vida social aceitável. (4) A única vantagem (se é que isso pode ser considerado como tal) é o fato dos Dorks quando se relacionando com alguém, costumam estar sempre com as/os Ex’s hiper hots dos Nerds ricos e Geeks pops, isso explica as brigas e desavenças entre eles, já que os demais pertencem todos a mesma família. (5) Dorks são como Squitz (zeros a esquerda), ninguém os nota normalmente exceto quando fazem uma merda muito grande.

(I) Someone who has odd interests, and is often silly at times. (II) A dork is also someone who can be themselves and not care what anyone thinks. (III) Someone who does things that are kinda silly and not necessarily cool but for times ‘cute’.

Example:

–          “Dork: Wow, that light bulb that’s flickering in a seemingly random fashion is actually occurring as such due to a capacitance built up on one side of the tungsten filament until it discharges sending electrical flow through the tungsten, causing photonic emission through heated excitation, which then dissipates as you get farther from the light bulb according to inverse square law.

–          Girlfriend who is also a Dork, Nerds, Geek or whatever HOT: You’re right, you dork. Shut up and kiss me. You’re so cute”.

(IV) Often used interchangeably with Nerds or Geeks the Dorks are typically more noted for their quirky personality and behavior rather than their interests or IQ which may not be on level with traditional Geeks or Nerds (definitely not at all). (V) They tend to be more humorous and extroverted and don’t mind laughing at themselves or with others at themselves, as the case may be. (VI) A person who often shared the characteristics of geeks or nerds but were not ostracized as a result.

–> Also, while old school geeks and nerds tend to continue to accept an ‘outsider’ status and maintain an elite club mentality amongst themselves, dorks generally tend to do the opposite, hence a current preference with the mainstream for dorks over geeks or nerds.

Squitz: (1) São a versão piorada dos Dorks. (2) atrapalhados por natureza, como não tem o menor senso do mundo externo perdem muitas vezes a noção do ridículo. (3) Não são por nada inteligentes e ainda vivem em seu mundo de ilusões. (4) Tem bom coração o que não ajuda em nada quando se é motivo de piada o tempo inteiro. (5) Costumam não demonstrar sentimentos com facilidade, nunca estão em companhia de outras pessoas ao redor, sendo procurados somente quando o motivo é ser a nova piada da turma.

(I) A person who, although also socially awkward, doesn’t have any intelligence to fill the void with technical pursuits, like a nerd, and is forced to do mindless activities. (II) Almost always alone. Usually with an XBox. Like playing ‘Halo’. All day. Every day. Not even understanding how the Xbox is making the pretty pictures on the screen. (III) Someone who sits around, writing the 500th definition for a word in the Urban Dictionary, as if anyone will ever read them all. (? WHAT).  (IV) A guy/girl who is clumsy and uncoordinated the maximum as possible. (V) Also who might be slightly idiot, though not at all or they just be a loser. (VI) Like the Dorks, Squitz just don’t care what people saying about them, in general they isn’t afraid of anything as they thought don’t have nothing to lose. (VII) A person who is dedicated to living authentically, rather that from the ego. (VIII) Someone that, no matter how many disses they get from people making definitions of them, are actually getting more internal laughter then everyone there.

–> Squitz thought that everybody is a ‘Squit’ inside. For them we all want to be ourselves but we can’t. And it seems like we don’t even know what to consider a Squitz nowadays, being practical let’s just call all at losers…or better yet ‘losers’. Deep down, a Squitz is just a normal ‘kid’ with a low / normal IQ who just wants to be accepted as the eerily awkward kid that they are.

.

Striking feature:

Nerds – Intelligence
Geeks – Obsession
Dweebs – Awkward
Dorks – Social ineptitude
Squitzs – Slag

Social Skills vs Technical Skills:

Nerd……………5………………………………10…………
Geek………….10……………………………….9………….
Dweeb…………4……………………………….8………….
Dork…………….3……………………………….7………….
Squitz………….1………………………………..2………….

.

#I would like to say ‘THANKS’ for being who I’m, for being somewhere between Nerds & Geeks, and for the ‘www’ be part of my life (completely) as without ‘you’ I’m nothing! But the only problem is: I do not know to ‘who’ I should thank… Hmmmm ‘mommy and daddy’?, ‘Deus’?, ‘colégio’?, ‘few friends and Boyfriend just like me’?, ‘Sociedade’? Whatever, valeu galera!

My great taste in Music

March 29, 2010

I cannot live without music and definitly it have a big influence above me, in my mood.

WHEN THE WORDS LEAVE OFF MUSIC BEGINS

I love this phrase…maybe because I love music!
People that know me well (or the ones who ‘can read between the lines’) frequently can recognize exactly how I’m feeling just by checking what I ‘m / was listening and this is fantastic and weird at the same time.
So if you have got curious and would like to try discover more about me, please have a look at my Last.fm profile.

Just some curious datas:
-since early January ’08 till  middle of March ’10 I had listened about 14.363 songs
-average per week about 255, thats mean +- 36 songs per day, what is a kind of easy at least for me
-most played band in the last week: Bloc Party (182 times)
-most played band in general: Editors (517 times)
-most played song ever: Athlete – In Between 2 States (50 times)
-people who have similar taste of music as mine have between 21-26 years old, 33% of them come from Europe, 7%  from Brazil and 60% from North America.
-currently I have 569 favorite tracks.
-so far the most curious fact is: I met my boyfriend owing my taste of music, so I wanna say THANK YOU Last.fm for had classified us “SUPER”!

.

Top bands since early 2008

.

Main styles: my little mix